Love of Hate

Winston Chruchill once said:
You have Enemies? Good.
 That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

And so you enter life surrounded by people. They all seem nice people.
You travel and you try to socialize.

At one Canadian function overseas, I met a Lithuanian.
Nice young fella.
 He said he was Lithuanian so I assumed, from my Soviet studies,
 that they all had to learn Russian in schools.

So I asked him quite innocently for the sake of conversation:
So you must know Russian?

His eyes grew large. His nostrils flared . Suddenly, he no longer looked like a nice young man but like a big, red eyed, wide nose, fire flaring , carrot topped bull,
 ready to charge and beat you into the ground.

 His rage flew into arm swinging, finger pointing,blubbering through facts
 that Lithuania was a country, with its' own language ..blah blah blah blah

Dumbstruck, I looked at him and said Woah!! Woah!!!
Don't need to know all that.
After screaming at me a whole 5 minutes he trudged off in disgust,
looking like a total jerk.

 I never did get my answer if he spoke Russian.

Trying to rationalize the sudden rage, the assumption was he did this to camouflage the embarrassment that he probably didn't speak Russian lol

A simple " No " would have sufficed.
Any other normal person would have said No. and maybe added something like
 I wasn't born there .
 We could have had a very pleasant conversation about the political situation out there and why things were done right and wrong.
 It would have been nice for me as a political science student.

Unfortunately, I got him on what seemed a bad day lol
His yelling brought a lot of curious people to stand and watch and after he left,
 I had to laugh. The whole thing was so funny, if it wasn't so sad.

I remembered in high school, many people after the war, taught their kids to hate Germany and what was then the USSR because they Russified every one.
The kids would talk about things and literally shake from hate.
I found that rather interesting.
 The Cold War however, was behind us with Gorbachev opening doors with Reagan and being Canadian, what did anyone have to do with Germany and  the situation in the USSR?
 Many of these kids grew up and went to visit, once doors were open, and
were never accepted back as true citizens because the parents did not stick it out and did not deserve the honor, once it was all over.

 I bumped into another fella from Saskatchewan and he blatantly stated he hated Ukrainians.
How I got into that subject, I don't remember.Probably the same way.
I probably said something about Saskatchewan having so many Ukrainians.

I have no idea what his back ground was but that day I had discovered that
Canada carried a LOT of underground hate.

Hate is a very bad thing. To breed it in others is worse and unfortunately kids are the first ones to be raised by their parents, who teach them to hate, not understanding, that these kids will never go back to any of those countries in the USSR. Knowing countries, like people change, hate seems to be a
useless pass time.

As new citizens of a new country, people have a right to live, raise families, get educated and become full scale Canadians, just like every one else. So why raise them full of hate?

One must leave the past, if one wants to be reborn and start fresh.
This Lithuanian young man, did not make an enemy out of me.
 I just felt sorry for him and especially for the next person who tried to ask him a question. lol

 It's not the way to live a life. For the most part I agreed with him but hey, history put all these countries under the USSR umbrella. Between Stalin and Hitler, people scattered like mice, in all directions.

As I walked on discussing the incident with my group of people,
I remembered that I did not follow the HPM rule. (History Philosophy and Metaphor).

 I should not have asked him a personal question.
When he said he was Lithuanian, I should have said something like:

Oh I met a Lithuanian once. He spoke Russian. (history)

I hated the Dude. He was a Russified bastard! (philosophy)

 He was like a tourista saying he rather speak Russian than all these Lithuanian dialects found in each quarter of the Capital Vilnius cause it was easier to understand. (metaphor)

 Now this would have been more to his liking cause now we would have been on the same side and maybe he would have then told me if he spoke Russian, which is all I wanted to know. lol
For all I knew, he worked as a translator..

 Who could ever guess asking a simple question could result in a blatant out and out war?

 I guess people back then were used to questions like: Are you white or red?
If you gave the wrong answer to the wrong group of people, they killed you.

 Looking at todays' world, not much has changed.
The countries and questions have changed but the answers could have the same, dire end result.

It keeps people angry and angry people can never see through their anger
long enough to resolve the problems of the world.
Anger carries underground hate which is hidden deep inside and this then makes
 for good excuses to commit crime, which from the side of the criminal, is no crime at all.

 Kafka once said:
The thorn bush is the obstacle in the road. It must catch fire if you want to go further.

 People weary of war, stop fighting. Until then, hate must burn with the lust of love, until it surrenders to the reality of life.

xoxoxox

Live it Love it --Life!

Well I guess it's that time of year again.
People are going to spend a great week end at the Cloverdale Rodeo.
Too bad it is only one week end a year.
We could do with a bit of fun Even if we don't have bucking horses
and cow roping, the rest of it is fun too: The dog shows and kiddy rides
face painting , flea market , picture taking,petting zoos, horse rides. 
It's a barrel of fun.
-------------------------------------------------

Life. Tal Bonham

After a check up a patient got a prescription from his doctor.
Drs usually have illegible handwriting.
The patient carried it in his pocket and forgot to have it filled.
It had its uses though
He used it for 2 years as a railroad pass.
It got him into movies a baseball park and once into the symphony.
He got a raise at work after showing it as a note from the boss.
One day he mislaid  it and it was picked up by his daughter who got a
conservatory scholarship playing the piano from it.

I gotta say That's some good doctor.
----------------------------------------------------------

Two women were talking
One asked: How is it pronounced Ha wa ii or Ha va ii

Ha va ii

Thank you.

You're velcome

xoxoxoxoxox

Number 4 - The Heavy Number

Here are 4 more dolls I collected over the years.
The little orange one is a hand puppet.
The one on the left is wearing traditional Chinese shoes they
wore way back when.
They look like a nice little family in their traditional costumes.

They came in a group of 4 and Chinese people put a lot of value in numbers.
To us,
Number 4 is related to the 4th Day of creation, when God completed the universe,
to include the sun , moon and stars, which separated night and day and gave us time.

Time gave us calendars, years and seasons.

In the 10 Commandments the number 4 is a Sabbath Day.

Eve is only mentioned 4 times in the Bible.

The Garden of Eden had a river which parted into 4 other rivers.

When Jesus hung on the cross, the soldiers divided his clothes into 4 parts,
one for each soldier.

God has 4 witnesses: miracles, wonders, signs and gifts of the Holy Spirit.

Rainbows are mentioned 4 times in the Bible

Ezekiel had a wheel in the middle of a wheel vision, where he saw
4 living creatures carrying a throne with 4 sides and 4 wheels.
Each creature had 4 faces and 4 wings.
 Scary.

Later Ezekial had to proclaim to Israel
of the end coming to 4 corners of the land.

The Elders were asked  to repent
or else 4 judgements would come upon them dealing with sword, famine,
 wild beasts and pestilence.
 4 = death with the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse
4 last things death judgement hell and glory
the 4 horns of the altar in daniel

 One has to shudder at the weight number 4 carries.

The number 400 is a symbol of a divine perfect time period.

This is what God said to him (Abraham, the father of the faithful): 'Your descendants will live in a foreign country, where they will be slaves and will be badly treated for four hundred years. (Acts 7:6)

When Abrahams' wife died at 127 years of age, Abraham bought a cave in Hebron for 400 shekels of silver. He was buried there as well at 175.
Isaac and Rebekah, his wife, were also buried there. (4 people.)

Interesting.

In China number 8 is the luckiest number.
They don't like number 4 cause it sounds like their word for death nor do they like number 13.
Number 2 implies harmony and germination. They speak of couples.
Number 7 implies holiness and mystery
Number 9 implies longevity and eternity. Lovers send 99 roses for everlasting love.

 While we fight over the existence of God,
by 2030, it's expected, China's total Christian population, including Catholics, will exceed 247 million, placing it above Mexico, Brazil and the United States as the largest Christian congregation in the world.
"Mao tse tung,  failed to kill God.

I don't know.
God works in mysterious ways lol

I guess I should make these dolls a family of 3 with an Actress Auntie. lol

3 indicates multiples. It represents Buddha, Dharma and Bonze, so people toll the bell three times to worship Buddha and pray for the removal of calamities with 3 sticks of incense.

The Auntie puppet, is number 1, which is also lucky.
Lao Zi  says it is the closest to creation.

‘The Way gave birth to unity; unity gave birth to duality; duality gave birth to trinity and trinity gave birth to the myriad creatures.’ 

Here the Taoist word ‘Unity’ means ‘1’ and represents the mother of all creatures.

The last few days we've been watching Genocide without realizing that this is all about ideologies  land and money rather than people. Look how much blood was spilt for nothing, at this site.
http://necrometrics.com/20c5m.htm

We are not going about it the right way if we want to heal wounds.
No wonder mystics go into seclusion. They say there can be no solution here.
All people want to do is argue.

Have a wonderful day.

xoxoxoxoxxo

Tell Me A Story

Stories were always my favorite things since I loved books
and ravenously read so many of them.
If I didn't have a good book to read my kids, I would make up a story.
Sometimes I wish I taped my stories cause when my kids would ask to
tell it to them again, I never could.
We'd lie late into the night, me talking and expressing every detail,
 with my eyes , voice, mouth,and hand motions, watching my kids listening with
 huge eyes and  smile.
Sometimes a little hand would stretch up and stroke my face and eye brows
and I'd think:
 Nope. They are not sleepy yet. lol
 Sometimes they'd laugh and laugh and laugh.
Little children laughing, is music to the ears.

Sometimes I talked and talked until I felt sleepy and my eyes would close.
 I'd drift off into the story, while my kids would still be listening for more and
more and more.

These are times I cherished most of all with my kids.
Stories, pictures, the turning of each page with so much anticipation.
The kids would absorb and relish every word.
I wouldn't change those days for all the money in China, as they say. lol

I was looking through this Little Golden Book Thumbelina and all those days
came flooding back to me .

Yes. Things have advanced a lot for children today.
 They make movies and cartoons even parents love watching but I will never change the days
when parents could bond with their kids the way we did.
It made for closeness where age never mattered.

Grand parents continued stories with their grand children.
Parents died at home with their kids and not many were sent away to old folks homes.
Today, we have a throw away society where nothing and no one is valued.
Prices go sky high taking care of people who just need a good meal and a warm bed.

I took care of my Grand mother and Mother and people would raise their eye brows, as if
I was doing something unheard of.
I would raise mine thinking.... you mean you wouldnt?
How is that possible?
I guess when you lose faith, you lose many other things.
 They are just not that important anymore.

You live and then you die once the purpose for your life is over.
You get to wonder why young people would want children, if everything is just going to be
a mechanical thing one has to do?
Why would any one want to marry or stick around to watch kids grow?
Today they make jokes about 10 year relationships which means the thoughts are already there.
Love plays no part as people decide they live how they feel and only how they feel matters.
They joke but the jokes are not funny anymore.

Life has debased so much that they put on the internet stuff like:
" Anna Kendrick wants more nudity on Game of Thrones."
Ah.... Why? Why is this important for people to know?

Then I think, well I was blessed in so many ways and there is nothing much any one can do
if the future is run on technology, while still expecting humanity.
Humanity will also decline,
as people become the machines they make.

Now that's a book. lol

Have a good one.
xoxoxoxoxox

Shopping Fever.

Woke up to rain again.
Yesterday I made this little bunny going shopping, from scraps
laying in front of my eyes. I figured, why throw them away.
 Today every little piece costs money. I have become very frugal these days.
Must be age.
My son is not so particular. He says garbage is garbage and is quick to
 dump things. I use every thing .

Kids today have things easy as opposed to us in our days when pennies
 had to be counted, and parents were tough. My allowance was 25cents a week.
So with that you could buy 5 cent bags of chips, with free bag coupons inside
or you could collect 4 weeks and afford to buy your Mother a pack of needles
for Mothers' Day. One store owner must have received every bag with
a free bag coupon inside. We kept going back every two minutes until we felt
 sorry for her and went to another store to redeem our coupons and the other store
 bags had none.
 Since my Mom didn't sew, I now think maybe needles was not an
appropriate gift but then what else could you buy for $1.00 at a corner store?
Our corner store owner was a very nice man. I think he had a part time job
as a bookie betting on horse races.
 We had Blue Bonnets horse racing back then.
Anyway, it was the thought that counted.
Right Mom? ;)

Later my allowance went up to a dollar a week.
With 4.00 dollars I could afford better gifts.lol
It took a lot of planning in those days.
Then as I got older, it went up to $7.00 and then $14.00 which
I added to with babysitting money.
By the time I got to college my Dad handed me my bank book with the money
they saved up for me over the years and told me to add to it and keep that balance.
That way I would always have money. It was good advice and made me
 feel good about myself.

I remember our neighbor boys ran around collecting bottles and bringing in
those for cash. Three boys would sit around the table counting their earnings and
arguing how much money each one should get.
These boys grew up to become Chartered Accountants lol

Have nothing much to say so just putting up a picture to cheer people up.
and wish them a GREAT DAY!

xoxoxoxoxo

Elegance

Life can be elegant.
I love reading old novels and looking at old pictures. People used to spend a lot of time
making sure that when they went out, they looked  their best.
I love the hair styles and the number of under garments made sure
a woman always stayed very warm.
It was not all about corsets either.

I remember as a little girl my Grand Mother made me a green velveteen
dress. It was one of my favorite dresses and I loved wearing it.
Looking at this doll reminds me of those days and I kinda miss
seeing people not dressing like this anymore.

We paid attention to shoes and wore gloves, as my grand mother said
 apart from helping keep germs away, they kept a womans' hands clean and white.
Everything had to match. Shoes, dress, coat, hat, and even the purse.
So it never ended with just a dress.

Hats were to keep faces from getting sun burnt and kept a womans' face looking
young for a long time.

Technology wasn't there yet and it was harder to take showers and baths,
but this ensured a woman took extra special time, to look after herself.
Perfumes, powders, were used a lot and many scents were made at home from
herbs and flowers growing in local fields and gardens.

Every household had special cups and saucers for afternoon tea, on tables covered in crochet
table cloths and doilies. Etiquette was a sign of fine breeding.

This was a womans' world and men delighted in sharing this world with a fine woman.

Today things are a lot less formal. People spend a lot on brand names while clothes are still made
by low cost factories elsewhere. So people like Chloe, become multimillionaires over night, while so many other good designers are not so lucky and can't make sewing a living making overpriced clothes people would not want to spend on, when brand names could be bought cheaper coming from poor countries
Stores close down and material is harder and harder to find, unless you buy in bulk or over pay.
Today hobbies like sewing and knitting and embroidery, are killed by high prices.
 We used to make our own patterns to embroider, using a paper pencil and and iron. Today
you need to pay 19 dollars up, for an embroidery kit and lose out on choice of material and thread to be used.
Thread has become very expensive. By the time you collect everything needed to do a project,
you can buy three times over what you intend to make at a store buying mass produced items.
It makes you wonder how other countries can get things to make and ship and pay salaries, for you to buy here in Canada,for a dollar. This means we over pay for most raw material, things we buy.
It also means that people work for nothing over seas and we  work for nothing in our countries, buying things we can't afford to make for that price.

I miss seeing a corner dress shop where a woman could go in and design her own, made to measure dress, from her own material. It allowed for many local  jobs, including for those people who made lace and edgings. Retired women would always have a job doing things they loved and still could do,
all by hand and when a woman wore her clothes, they were unique, and a lot better made, than what they sell in stores today, as brand name clothing.A lot of people took pride in the things they did
and all around, a happy customer made for many good vibes in a community.

I guess we can't go back in time when a persons hands were golden, producing things of value
that were treasured and handed down Mother to daughter, but looking at this doll makes me think that women sure are missing out in social graces,etiquette and couture, which made every day worth
looking forward to.
xoxoxoxoxxo

Nesting Soul

Seems life is like a nesting doll .
You never know how much of yourself you have inside, to stir up.
A better example shows that if you take a glass of dirty water and let it sit,
the sediment inside will fall to the bottom and the water will be clean.

Then you take a spoon and stir it up and the water will be dirty again.

You can't blame the spoon for stirring up dirt that is already in the water.
and this is how life is when it comes to sin.
When we work, God rests and when we rest, God works.

People sin and people die as a result of their sins.
Man made laws are out there to control the sins.
Laws are like the spoon which stirs things up inside of people.
 People break laws and die and then they resurrect.

Once the spirit breaks off from this world, it belongs to God and
if it returns to the body, we have to ask who does it belong to?
It still belongs to God.
 It no longer belongs to worldly laws that govern us.
It no longer belongs to husbands or wives, mothers or fathers, or to nations.

 As a spiritual being, it is free to follow Gods' laws without sin.
This basically is an explanation  as to why Christ died for us and then resurrected.
He took the sins of this world, died and resurrected a spiritual being, without sin.
He showed us that it can be done.
We can be happy in physical form, without sin, when the spirit belongs to God.
There is no spoon or laws to stir up sin.

I could relate this some how,  to what happened in these woods.
Could they be as precious to me now, as sinless as the world I ran away from?
Seems dirt is swirled no matter where we try to hide away from it.

I gazed at the these wonderful men who were my guardian angels and saved my life
while trying to up hold man laws against the sinners. I tried to look beyond Burts' eyes
and then there were the haunting eyes of James, the last time I saw him.
The eyes are truly the windows to the soul where the spirit lives.

James didn't make it to the cabin that day. Burt stayed on as things settled down.
A week had gone by when I heard a Jeep making its' way in.
James got out and we stood there looking at each other a long time.

He shrugged and walked over slowly .
I had to come and apologize. 
I didn't want to mislead you.


It's Ok. I know the whole story now.
You had a job to do and I didn't make it easy on you.
I shuffled the ground under my feet.

James took my hand.My name is Kevin Hall
and I'd sure like to be your friend.

Emotions are not things I am good at. I never could control them.
I turned to hide the tears just so Burt could see them.
I flushed even more and trudged into the cabin.

Come have some coffee!

I took control of myself filling cups while the two men who meant the most to me,
stood by quietly.

Ok ......well , let's forget it all and start again. Er.......by the way......

Did I tell you my name is not Eleanor?..............

xoxoxoxo

Dynasty Doll.

 Can you imagine.?
I had my own guardian watching over me.
It was all I could do to stop myself from crying.

 This was like a dynasty story inside a feudal system,
where one Lord fought another, for power and control and we the people,
with our horses and cows, got stuck in the middle.

Burt!!

I felt betrayed by the people I trusted the most and my body began
 shaking of its own accord. It was catching up to me fast.

Ell, I tried to get you to go home but you are one of the most stubbornest chicks I've ever me.

So what was all this about?

Drugs. You name it, they were into it. It was a big organization.

They killed Luke thinking it was James, so we switched the bodies. You could not
recognize the face, it being so bruised and mutilated.
We told every one it was James who died, to get them off track.

So who was Luke?

He was the other agent working with James.

And you????

Well I was Burt, the old hick in the woods. he laughed.

So your name is not Burt?

No . Sorry. I'm Michael Burner. Glad to meet you finally.

Burt began to make a fire in the stove and to put on the coffee, like nothing happened.
He snuck in some brandy into the coffee to calm me down.

So did you finally catch them?

Yes, we were ready this time.
Listen. Don't worry about the mess,
You will be more than compensated for all this trouble.
We have been after these guys a long time.

So what were the helicopters all about?

It was a meeting place they had up there on Bear to exchange the drugs for cash.
Luke and James had to play two roles and one of them was to be part of the group.
Then they found you here and this was added responsibility to keep you safe.
You don't want to mix up with men who are high on drugs.
 Especially not those men.

Things were beginning to clear up in my head.

So two animals died for nothing? What did they want with me?

They knew James and Luke were here since they came with a cow.
James had a key to a bank vault. It was small so he hid it in his watch.
They were looking for it a long time. They thought maybe the animals swallowed it.
James gave the watch to Luke and when they beat Luke up he must have lost the watch in the 
water.
Then we found Luke and took him to the hospital. 
It made head lines so naturally you had to be hit again but this time,
 we were waiting for them.

 Then they wanted to get James for betraying them and he rushed over here to get you out
before you were hurt and lead them away, where we could get the last of them.
Luckily, it all turned out well.

Where is James now?

He'll be along. He is just finishing up.
He sure is glad this case is over.

I hmmfed to this. I bet.

The cabin was full of policemen.
They helped to pick stuff up and put them back into place. They dusted for finger prints
They took the broken radio.
It was like being invaded all over again with people sifting through
 all your private things not that there was much but my paintings were damaged.
Luckily the one of Burt was ok and now that I remembered I told Burt to wait and went out into the barn.
The horses were back inside with the babies as was Mama Jersey.

I dusted off the painting and returned to the cabin.

Here. I painted this for you. I'll have to change the name.

Burt took the painting and looked at it a long time.

You are a treasure. You did this so well. 
No. No I don't want you to change a thing. Burt is fine.

I saw him kinda tear up as he wiped his nose.
He passed the painting to the guys to see.

I'm going to miss living with you. This was the best job I ever had.

I shrugged. It was all disappointing.
Well we can still be friends. Or was this an act too?

Oh no dear girl. That was no act. To be sure we can still be friends.
I'd like that a lot.Besides I'll be retiring and will have plenty of time on my hands.
Maybe you can come out and visit me too.

Burt was not in a rush and he sat  on the couch just as if he belonged there.
We looked and smiled at each other through sad, knowledgeable eyes.
xoxoxoxo

Watchin Over You.

Burt was very good to spend evenings with.
 We had music, thanks to his harmonica and guitar .
We would sing songs and I'd even put in a dance or two.

 Savannah finally gave birth to a beautiful foal we named Smoochy,
 who learned quickly from Beau how to smile.
She seemed to have his bratty spirit.

 Jersey gave birth too, to a young whipper snapper,
 who loved kicking his heals up.
We called him Chicklett.

 Watching the two babies frolic, as their Mommies watched,
was beautiful to behold.

 Burt went into the hills to hunt a few days at a time and
Beau and I did our shows and prepared for winter .
We had some great times in the cabin until Burt got a letter .
 His son fell on the ice and broke his leg, so he decided to go and
 help out where he could.

 I packed his bag with some of our preserves, since you can't buy stuff
 like this in stores.
 Suddenly it became very lonely and quiet.
 Chores were doubled up by now.
 Loneliness forced a  move to paint, into the barn, so as to have company.

Thinking it would be nice to make a gift of it , Burts' portrait was the first thing I did.

 Before long canvasses lay with mountains and rivers and cabins
and cows and horses. Some had bunnies under cabbages and chickens
 under hooves,and of course cocks make the best paintings
since they are so colorful.
 At least my Cornelius was, with long red
plumes along side golden and black feathers and a white neck which fluffed up.
He was a wonderful artist too when he crowed every morning.
 He took such delight in it.

 It was on one of these painting evenings that the barn door opened and a
 man stumbled in..... James !!!
 All I could keep repeating was James .....in disbelieve.

James, you're dead!

 No! No, I'm not. Listen Eleanor. Do you still have my rifle?

 Yes.

Where is it?

 In the tool cabinet.

James rushed over to the tool cabinet and grabbed it along with the bag of ammo.
 He came and grabbed me by the shoulders.

Ok, now listen. Did you by any chance find my watch?

As a matter of fact I did up in Bear, in the creek, by the waterfall.

 Great! Where is it?

 In the bag with the ammo. I wanted to give it back to your family when next I saw them.
 But then you are not James are you?

Yes. I am. I'll explain later.

 Then who was it that died?

 Luke. Listen Eleanor. You have to get out of here.

 Nothing doing. I'm fine here. You get out.

 Listen.
With a sense of urgency, he grabbed my coat and shoved it on me.
 Sweat covered his brow.

Just for a little while till they begin to follow my trail.

 Who is they?

 The people I've been investigating. I'll explain later. Go! Go ! Go!
He began shoving me out the back door.

 Oh no! Not without my family!
Last time you cost me a donkey and a cow.

I grabbed blankets, Beau, Savannah and Jersey, knowing the babies would follow, and opened the barn door to the coral.
 I pulled my gems out into the forest to hide behind the cedars hoping their feet would camouflage my boot prints.
I knew the other cows would go outside into the coral so it would look natural just in case they decided to put the barn on fire.

 Shivering , from a distance, I saw ski doos approach and men running around, ransacking everything in their way. Not liking what I saw, I pulled Beau ,Savannah and Jersey further into the woods.
Huge fluffy snow flakes began to tumble from the sky.  It was a blessing in that it would cover the tracks and made sure that the night would not be so cold.

 Safety first, pushed me forward to a clump of old cedars  behind some rock cliffs . They offered refuge by cutting off the wind and some soft , pine needle, bedding .
 Luckily the horses had winter blankets over them but Jersey and her calf were cold.
 . I got the youngsters to lie down beside me and together we kept warm the rest of the night ,
under the blankets I had.

When the sun came up, I pulled my troupe back towards home. It seemed like every one had gone but one couldn't be sure. So after tying the horses, I tiptoed over to the barn .
The other cows were safe but everything was turned upside down.
 Quickly trying to salvage what I could of my paintings while swearing under my breath,
 I then sneaked towards the cabin. From what I could see from the windows, no one was there.
The kitchen area was a mess. bedding every where, and this time, they managed to find my radio room and smashed the only thing I had, to contact me to the outside world.

Good thing, I was smart enough not to leave my Harley this time, in the barn. It was hidden
 safely under tarp and plastic covered by brush.
 It made me mad. It takes a lot to get me mad and ...........I knew......... I was mad.
 I got soo mad I thought if I saw any one of these people again, I'd kill them for sure.
In my head I began to make plans to booby trap my home if anything like this happened again.
Of course this is sick thinking. Just imagine tripping your own booby trap. Ugh!

 Ok, I knew I wouldn't, but don't push me. Damn that James. Why did he come here?
 I sat down feeling hopelessness creep all over me.

Picking up the pieces of radio I wondered if I could fix it enough to work.
 I had to try. Over an hour later it was just about done when I heard motors outside.
Hunching myself  as small as could be, I held my breath inside a cabinet hoping they were not going to go into another trashing spree.
Men were  talking outside.

 What a mess. Do you think they killed her?

 Don't see a body.

Maybe in the barn? Jack, go look in the barn.

 Ok.

 Then I heard Burts' voice. Eleanor! Ell! and other voices calling out to me. Squirming out of the cabinet, I hesitantly showed myself.

Burt?

 Burt ran up to me and grabbed my arm to give me a hug.

 Oh boy, am I glad you are safe!

I looked at him and asked: Are you a part of all this?

 Well kinda.

 I was supposed to protect you.

 Protect me?

 xoxoxoxox

Living the Good Life

Made sandwiches for supper from fresh tomatoes , shallots and
cheese complimented by fried eggs and boiled ham.
 Burt was a gem. Never complained and ate with gusto.

 Maybe you should do what the Officer suggested Ell and go live with your parents or maybe some friends for a while. I can't be of much use if someone comes looking for trouble.

 I laughed.
It's a funny thing.
You know how kids always want to live on their own?
 Well my friend did just that. She moved to an apartment she shared with her friend.
 Everything seemed fine for a while, until her friend let her friends come over.
They slumped every where, emptied the fridge, sat there and watched you if you ate without sharing.
They played loud music so doing home work was impossible

 It got to the point they would raid her room and help themselves to what ever.
 None of them had jobs. My friend told her friend that this would not do and was told that she was selfish.
 When people need help, we should help them.

 My friend told her that if they have money for drugs, they have money for other things and besides the rent is shared between 2 people not 10 and one should be able to sleep in ones' own room in ones' own bed and not have to share ones' clothes, DVD's and whatever else they help themselves to without permission.

After visiting her a few times, I knew this was not for me.
 Since they had a contract signed by two people, it was hard to leave. She had to put locks on her bedroom door and kept a fridge in her bedroom.
There was constant tension, no peace, no alone time.
Bathroom was always busy as they used the tub to sleep in.

So I moved out here and had fun building my own cabin.
 It's been good until now. It's ok to help people in trouble but good manners is always an asset and people should have some.
 I thought James was a very thoughtful person and this is what makes this whole thing very difficult.

Anyway, a pair of extra ears always helps Burt. I am kinda glad you are staying here.

Burt grinned. Ya my kids were the same. Every one wants to grow up fast. You keep tellin them to slow down. Life seems to go even faster today, than in my time. I remember when they sold homes, not real estate. When they sold Insurance like Allstate, you were in good hands. You worked to raise families, not divorce. Heck I listen to jokes today and they aren't funny. Coming out of comedian mouths who supposedly make fun of their experiences, makes you feel sad and here people are laughing.
 Well now that Jesse is gone, I have no purpose to stay. Can't go back into the woods.

Well, where do you usually go?

Oh I have a son and daughter. They always tell me to stay but they are busy with their own lives. The kids are quite active and noisy and I don't mind baby sitting, but I do enjoy the peace and fresh air of the wilderness.
 I like it here just as much as you do.

Well then stay. I will get my cycle back. There's plenty of food, wood for the fireplace. You could still hunt and sew up your pelts and go fishing. The river never freezes out here.

Well maybe for a while. I hate leaving you alone right now.

 The air was cool and fresh as we slept through the night but dawn was
awakened by military copters.
The RCMP was in full swing just as we expected.
You couldn't help think that something was a miss. What were they not telling us?

 As I went out to tend to my chores I saw out in the distance, my old friend Yawny.

Now what brought him out here?

Go away stupid wolf! Go away before they kill you!!!

 but all my efforts to convince him to leave were futile.
He just sat there, golden and gorgeous.

 My good ol faithful friend. Are you here to take care of me again?

 My heart felt heavy and sad as I picked my vegetables for the day and planted more seeds.
 I stood by the coral watching Beau and he came over to nudge at me.
 I hugged his neck feeling his strength and utter trust.

 I love you too, I thought. More than you will ever know.

 As I turned to leave, Beau came and gave me a hard push from behind.
 I turned around to look at him and his playfulness reminded me of who we were.

 Ok I get it. Get over it right?
 As usual, you are always right my friend.
. Always right.
 I grabbed a bucket of oats and alfalfa and spread them in the food trough and let the cows out to graze.

 The smell of coffee permeated the air and soon breakfast of pancakes, jam, fried eggs, packed with shallots, tomatoes, and mushrooms, quick buns and sliced cucumber lay spread out on the table.

 I could see Burts' nostrils flare as he slept on the bed. He made me laugh.

 Ok, I know you are awake. Come an get it.

Thought you would never ask . He smiled and jumped up like a boy of 15.

Ah... Go wash up? Obediently he went outside and wet himself with water.

 It was nice to have someone to cook for. but dishes as usual were not fun to wash.
I cleaned the soup pot and filled it with water . A good broth was always welcome. A few slices of bacon, and garlic were boiled. Soon potatoes, carrots, and lentils were added.

 Burt went out with his fishing hat and soon he brought back a few nice bass which I immediately cleaned and fried with onions. Wood had to be chopped and prepared for winter. Barn had to be stacked with hay.

 I harnessed a cow to the mower and soon we had tons of nice hay to stack away in the loft. Being in a valley had its' good points cause the snow did not stay long and there was always grass to chew out in the field.
 The bunnies mass produced like crazy.
 It was all we could do to make cages for them since mama's had to be kept away from the papas to raise babies.
We did not have to worry about eggs or chickens or rabbit for winter. Who knows, maybe next year we could add duck to the menu.
 The pens were all surrounded by used hay which kept them all warm in winter no matter how cold it got.
 I guess it also kept predators away since they could not smell them out.

We collected wild berries and jars of jam filled our coffers and then there were the pickled and dry mushrooms.and even pickles and pickled tomatoes with cauliflour, peppers and broccoli.
 Then we made tomato sauces in jars.
 Burt knew all about mushrooms and he showed me which ones were edible.

 Four hands was a lot better than two. After a nice hard days work, one felt good.
Good food. Fresh air. Peace and quiet and a wonderful winter wonderland to look out at ....could heaven be any better?

 Burt worked on his pelts making moccasins, mittens, and hats. He made beautiful leather pouches. I worked on my paintings and since we had a lot of clay, I learned to make puppets of forest little people which I dressed up from old fleece blankets.
They looked cute and impish and I hoped they would sell come spring.
With left over fur pieces I made little woods men .
They were carved out of cedar.

 My Harley came back good as new and with a few chains on the tires, we were able to use it in winter. News got around about all the trouble we had in the fall and soon we had another pregnant Pinto horse and a pregnant jersey cow added to our family.
 People sent animal food and people food.

 Burt was really touched by the gift of the Pinto. Her name was Savannah and she was 13 years old and to have a little one around her, was surely a blessing.

Every day I'd say hello to Yawny. He didn't seem to want anything and was just happy to watch us from afar.
 By Christmas, we managed to get a tree outside in a wooden container.
 I had lots of wicks in jars filled with oil and water to hang outside and light on Christmas Eve.
 We also made seed balls for the birds from honey oats and fat.
 Burt had his own room now since it was stupid to sleep on a couch.
He wasn't a visitor.
 Things couldn't have been nicer.
 xoxoxoxox

Law and Nothing but Law.

The next morning I was called into the barn, by Burt.

Eleanor! Ell!

I came running just to see my Harley sitting there like a disheveled wench.
The seats were cut up and the gas tank ripped out.
The tires sliced.
 It hurt.

 Then... Jesse was on the ground stomach split open.
 I ran to see if Beau was touched but thank fully he was grazing outside but
Sheba......

When the RCMP finally showed up .
We had lots of pictures to show them as well as all the evidence on the animals and the Harley.

 What the hell is all this? I queried.

 Helicopters, ski doos, dead people.....

Mame how long did you know this James fellow?

I didn't know him really. He dropped by a few times The first time with his friend Luke.
I wasn't home so they made themselves at home in the cabin.
When I got home they left to go up Bear with Sheba my cow, carrying supplies.
Then James came back a few months later with Sheba in a big copter and then a month later
he came in his small copter with groceries...
and then he was dead.
We saw his parents at the hospital but they didn't know why James was up here.
Now we see his copter flying around once in a while.

Did you find his copter?

He doesn't own one Mame. In fact we know of no one by that name up in Denali
checking up on Earthquakes.
Do you know where he was found beaten up? 

Yes, up by the small water fall on Bear about 3 hours walking distance.
The camp was a mess the first time we went there when we found him but now everything is cleaned up.


You went up there again? 

Yes. We saw the small copter. So we went to check.

We'll get someone in to take the animals for autopsy and do you want the 
cycle taken to be fixed? 

Oh that would really help.

Burt sat teary eyed.

She was a good one that Jesse.

I put my hand gently on his shoulder .

Do you know anything about why these people are doing all this?

Well, it's clear they are looking for something. We'll have to keep a closer watch on this area.

That would be a comfort but if they came at night to do this, how would it help?
They clearly have vicious intent.


Might be a good idea to get to a safer place with more people.

What? Be run out of my home?
How does that help finding who killed James? They are winning.
We don't know anything.



Maybe his friend Luke knows.

Ah yes, about that. What did this Luke fella look like?

Well he was about 6'1" blonde, blue eyes, .. kinda looked like James, very fit and tanned.

We don't seem to know of anyone fitting that description as a friend of James.

That's ridiculous! He must have been at the wedding.

What wedding?

James had a brother who got married.

 When?

Just recently.


Is this what he told you?

Yes! Why would he lie?

Well I don't know. This is your story Mame.

My story?  My Story?...Are you accusing me of killing James?

My blood pressure was rising quickly.

What possible reason would I have to do this? You need motive!
I had none!
Do you think I am insane?

No Mame. It's all a part of the investigation.

Well... look. I came here to mind my own business not to kill people..
I paint and entertain with my horse and we do fine without all this trouble.

Yes Mame. Well ... we'll get back to you if there is anything more.

I sure would like that officer.

Burt and I went back into the cabin and let the law do its' job.

xoxoxoxoxox




 

Metaphysical Reality.

Laws are only as good as the people willing to listen to them.
Otherwise they promote anarchy.
The reason they don't work may be due to lack of understanding
or desire to care for fellow man, while at the same time expecting
fellow man to take care of every one. Rather immature behavior but laws support it.
So how are people expected to grow?

The devil believes he wins every time.
Since God forgives, man
can have his cake and eat it too ,even if it means shortening one life and
 every ones elses' in the process.

Human Rights protects the evil doers as no one wants to make a mistake
of killing the wrong man for the wrong crime.
Wishy washy laws, serve no purpose at all.
A system without God can become a very harsh system or
one that exists in name alone.

So what is the answer?
Does it lie with the individual or the system?

Systems are as good or as bad as the individuals in them.
If they become closed clubs, then there is no hope.
If they become too liberal, there is no hope.

What was going on in James' mind when last I saw him.?
I had nightmares about it every night.
People speculate at what could happen if machines take over,
yet they don't take into account that maybe man is a creation,
 just like a machine, out there to learn, with a brain
that needs to come to terms with reality, as it faces him every day.

We think about social reality, physical reality, political reality.
Metaphysics comes into play as most believe in what they can see,
feel, touch, hear, smell, taste, the vestibular and proprioception.

In fact Plato had a theory of forms that said that non material abstract
forms have the highest type of reality.
The allegory of the caves speaks of shadows on the wall.
Do they exist? Do they have form? Do they change?
What about dreams? You dream in living form. Although it is abstract
in nature , it is as real as it can be.

The spiritual world, whereby people say they see images of spirits, are like
 the shadows on a wall aren't they?
If spirits can touch you in their non physical form, maybe through the energy
they possess, how is that not real?
Some people do drugs and see bugs crawling all over their body.
How is that not real?
Others feel itchy so they scratch to the bare bones .
How is that not real?

The brain is an amazing creation as it comes into contact with both the physical
and the non physical world every day. Forms become meaningless.
Burt and I had many conversations on the subject and for a
hick of sorts, he knew a lot.

Yup, there is a problem with universals he said.
Just using wave lengths to show the color blue white or black on the color spectrum.
The sky blue is not the same as the color blue of a skirt.
When dealing with numbers which are infinite, there can never be a perfect circle
or a perfect straight line. As for time, we know time is not the same every where we live.
but it is a continuous flow as the world turns. 
Forms are what men learn and then mimic so when a man sees shadows of people, he believes people make the shadows but maybe they don't. 
Makes these Rorschach ink blot tests look kinda stupid. 
 he chuckled.

 Yup....
According to Plato:
"But if the very nature of knowledge changes, at the time when the change occurs, there will be no knowledge, and, according to this view, there will be no one to know and 
nothing to be known: but if that which knows and that which is known exist ever,
 and the beautiful and the good and every other thing also exist, 
then I do not think that they can resemble a process of flux, as we were just now supposing."

We look at man and think he is one, without considering that he is a plural entity 
consisting of many. We say one.
Then we look at God and say he is one, without understanding that he is many so
 we say he does not exist. Each man sees himself as God in the making.
Then we look at the Ten Commandments and wonder why they should be adhered to.
Maybe it's so the compound is not destroyed into its' elements.
It's like cancer, that destroys the many, to end at the Ones' demise.
We use medicine to recover the one, as the 10 Commandments does.

Ahhhh! Girly . We live in a world of foreign laws, made by God and man.
Is it no wonder we don't feel we belong.

 As we talked quietly into the night, we kept analyzing the skies.

xoxoxoxo

FREE WILL

What is free will? Do we really have any?
 We always have reasons for doing what we do.
 We eat if we get hungry, sleep when we are tired,
visit doctors if we are sick.
It's no different in the wilderness.

We hunt for food, cut lumber to keep warm.
 Make friends and enemies alike.
 Life, guides us towards survival of the fittest.
 To survive, limits our freedom to do things we want to do.

 Most of us won't sky dive, or dive off 50 foot cliffs even for
 want of feeling the freedom of air space.
 We won't stick our fingers into an electric socket just to see
what happens, although I did it once and my little hand was covered
 in gray matter full of little red veins running through it to get me scared
enough to jerk my hand out.

People are not stupid. Common sense needs no direct experience
 or scientific method to know right from wrong.
 It's always nice to know there is a way to get out of a loop.
 Those who seek direct experience and live to talk about it, are
 the leaders of this world.
 Those who experiment using the scientific method,
 are also leaders searching for things most of us either benefit
 from or die from. James was both of these things.

Science and direct experience were things he knew a lot about.
 Funny to know so much about a man in so short a period of time.
 How far would a man go to get the things he wants?

 Ok, the Denali thing made sense, but what was up Bear Mountain and
what is this nonsense that happened at the cabin?
What were they looking for?
Many a night went by with me staring up at the ceiling trying to
 solve this mystery.

 I made sure my rifles were set and ready to fire if needed.
 I had one long barrel with a sharp sword at the end.
 I figured if I can't shoot an intruder like bear or cougar,
I could spear him and if that failed well.....
 but at least it wouldn't recoil that hard to hurt my shoulder when fired.

Then I had a Cobb Model FA50...using a 50Cal bmg 660-750gr ammo
 left by James. It would take down a 750 pound bear easy shmeezy although
 it's a frightful looking thing.

 I began to also tie two Rambo bowie knives to my body.
 One was tied to my leg, and the other one on my arm in thick
cow leather straps. These, I slept with. Suddenly my heavenly home,
was turning into a nightmare.

Since I hated guns with a passion, there was no free will being used here,
 preparing them to kill. I shuddered thinking about it.
 We live with laws to stop crime and criminals so as not to use things
 like this and yet here I was preparing for radical changes in my life,
which may or may not happen.
Sort of defeated the purpose of coming out here.

 "O God! Refresh and gladden my spirit.
 Purify my heart.
 Illumine my powers.
I lay all my affairs in Thy hand.
Thou art my Guide and my Refuge.
 I will no longer be sorrowful and grieved;
 I will be a happy and joyful being.
 O God! I will no longer be full of anxiety,
nor will I let trouble harass me.
 I will not dwell on the unpleasant things of life.
O God! Thou art more friend to me than I am to myself.
 I dedicate myself to Thee, O Lord."

 Read more at http://www.beliefnet.com/Faiths/Galleries/Prayers-for-Peace-and-Happiness.aspx?p=2#PlG4RqegMITLXG1x.99
 xoxoxoxoxox

Feeding the Tiger

Burt wasn't in a hurry to leave and I was thankful for the company

After about a week or so we heard the buzz of a small copter.

Burt and I exchanged glances.
The smart thing to do was to call it in and have the authorities look into it.
But the death of James kinda made it more personal.

I left a note just in case in the barn and told Burt to stay and hold down the fort.
Of course Burt wouldn't listen and packed up his Jesse for the 3 hour trek.

We slowly made our way up the rocky curves until we got to the the same spot
where we found James.
To our amazement the place was thoroughly cleaned up.
One would hardly know there was even a camp fire.
So we set up camp and this gave us time to look around.
Burt was a lot better at tracking than I was.

He found  boot marks I took pics of. He found broken branches.
At a small waterfall we got some terrific cold, sweet, water, to quench our thirst
and out a ways in the mountain, we heard a cougar.
If we could hear him, he could probably smell us.
Then in between the rocks I saw something sparkling.
Some kind of metal. I reached into the freezing water and pulled out
a watch. It looked like something James was wearing.

We found a few pieces of torn material from a fleecy checkered red shirt.
It got dark fast so we lit up the fire and began a meal and
 to rest up for the trek home.
I kept checking out the watch . It was an Edox Chronodiver watch. Hmm not cheap.
Why would it be in the water out here?

It was what we found at home the next day though that really became a sign that something
was definitely not right..
As Burt went into the barn with the animals I went into the cabin  to find it all upside down.
Burt came out and told me the same thing had happened in the barn.
So was it on purpose that they flew by the cabin, to arouse our curiosity to go to Bear?
It gave them plenty of time to raid the cabin.
Seems we fed the tiger without knowing he was stalking us.
Thank fully they did not find the radio room.
I radio'd Bob and told him what had happened.
Seems there was a lot more to the James story but why was I not surprised?
Does one have to experience something to understand it?
I took as many pics as I could before trying to tidy up the mess.
I fed the tiger and he fed me.
Now we just have to wait to see who gets the next meal.

xoxoxox

Making Sense of Life

A new dawn and stove fired up with fresh coffee brewin,
cut the dampness in the air.
I went outside to collect the eggs for breakfast.
The dew covered grasses and morning freshness were
welcome under my cold, bare feet.
I sneezed and knew this was not smart to walk outside half dressed.
Over head it looked like a helicopter James was
flying, crossing the sky.

The whole thing began to feel disturbing.
Did I scare him off?
 Burt noticed it too.

Guess this fella really likes you

If he liked me he would stop, wouldn't he?

Maybe he is just checking to make sure you're ok.

Maybe .
I filled his head full of religion and he probably
got scared off. I laughed.

Religion! What's a girl like you talking about religion for?

Well he asked me why I lived up here and it got on the subject .
Living up here, one feels closer to God than in the city and
he said he felt it too up in Alaska.
Besides, what's wrong with religion?
Look at the world. People need it more than ever these days.

I'll tell you something girly.
God? Yes! Religion? No.
I don't much like  preachers .
Every time they open their
 mouths they kill it.

Ya, I know. I asked a few of my school friends why they were entering the
priesthood and they said cause it's a job.
I always thought it was a calling.
Another woman called it a cult.
You can't make people believe in something that important,
if it's just a job or if people think it's a cult.
They have no understanding at all as to why it's important.

I looked back towards Bear Mountain.

You know Burt? I think I need to go have a look up there and see what
all this sudden interest in Bear is all about?

Well I'll go with ya. You can't get into trouble by yourself. 
He winked and went into the cabin.
After breakfast I rustled out my survival kit and loaded Sheba while Burt took care of
his Jesse.
Sorry old boy. I patted Beau. You stay here and keep warm.
We won't be long.

Slowly we got on our way hoping there was really nothing to find.
It was about a 3 hour walk and we made good time.
By noon we were at the foot hill of Bear.

Burt was puffing away.
Listen. You sit down and catch your breath.
I'll just walk a bit and explore.

Ok. You don't need to tell me twice  .

Slowly I made my way up looking for evidence of anything out of place.
In a small clearing there was a dead campfire pit, cans, plastic .
They sure left the place a mess I thought.
Behind a fallen tree trunk I saw something behind some branches and as I came closer
I saw the shirt James was wearing.
My God!
It was him!
I came round the trunk to see if he was dead?
James! James! I whispered kneeling down.
His face was beaten black and blue but he seemed to still be alive.

I'll be back You hold on James ok? Hold on.
I ran down to Burt and told him to hurry.
I covered James with a blanket and tried to wipe off the dirt and blood
on his face with a wet cloth. He sipped some water.
My God! What are you doing up here? I asked.
He was too weak to answer.

We cut down a few thin trees and made a stretcher to pull him on.
I'm taking you home ok?
Do you have anything broken?
James shook he head to say no.
Ok Ok Good. Careful now.
Between Burt and I, we managed to get him onto the stretcher
we softened up by filling it with soft branches.
We began the trek back home.
It wasn't a good sign that James was sleeping.
I tried to keep some cold water rags around his head.

When we finally got back I rushed to the cabin to the secret room
and called Bob.
We needed help. A man was found beat up.
Lots of head injuries.

Then I ran outside again to help Burt bring James into the house.
As he lay there we took off his shoes and kept him
warm till help arrived in a manner of a big 4x4.
They stretchered him inside and left for St Mary's Hospital.

You got some keen senses Ell. Burt finally exclaimed.

It didn't make sense Burt.
Common. Lets go sit down and have something to eat.
You sure was a God send yourself.
I don't know how I would have
managed with just two hands.

The next day after chores we started up the Harley .
Burt  sat in the side car and we were off to see how
our friend was.
We arrived to find James still in intensive care.
His family was all there and we introduced ourselves
The air was solemn as doctors and nurses quietly did their jobs.

We want to thank you for finding him and bringing him in.
his Mom managed to say through a tear stained face.

Oh that was nothing.  He would do it for me.
 We saw his helicopter leave Bear Mountain and found it kinda strange
cause the area was not known as earth quake country nor was it volcanic

Why would that matter where James was concerned ?
James was a pilot . He worked for the government .
We never knew what he did but it had nothing to do with
volcanoes. 

Well then I don't know.
Is there any news as to who took the helicopter then?

There was a sudden commotion in James' room and then
it was concluded that James had passed away.

A flash of his face when he boarded his helicopter,
 made my heart twinge. I felt him standing beside me.
What was he trying to convey?
I felt a touch ever so soft on my hand.
Suddenly the man I thought I knew, I didn't know at all.
He was good hearted, kind, thoughtful, no thief,  and now
he was dead. Go figure.

As the family started to grieve I stood there tearing apart inside
wishing to split in half and to be set free.

We drove back to the cabin in silence, got the chores done
and then sat down at the table.
Burt was watching me, respecting my silence, trying to
 help as much as he could. without being invasive.
There was nothing to say.
People die.
But to die like this..... for nothing?

 You ok? he finally asked.

Burt, is reality real or do we just imagine it?
Cause if we just imagine it, death would not be so final and bearable.
 nor barbaric.

Do we call a spade a spade or a plate a plate?
It's as real as we will ever know it to be.
Death... well here it gets a bit complicated cause we are dealing with the spiritual
and the physical.
When you're sittin in the woods at night, sometimes you think you can hear the trees talkin.
Man can't see or hear well enough to know for sure. 
His senses are not that well developed but the animals do.Oh ya. The animals hear and see everything.
I guess mankind still has a lot to perfect in him.

You think in the next life God has a plan to put our souls into better bodies?
If souls, through negative and positive energy, could collect molecules and form
bodies to live in,would people be real? Alive?

That's a good question Ell.
The spirit or soul is the life we know, so I guess ya.
I think the reason souls leave is because the life force becomes weak . 

So if I told you that at the hospital, I felt his presence and his touch...
you wouldn't think I was crazy?

Crazy?  No more than me.You'd roll over in your grave if I told you all the stuff I
seed in my life.
Oh no Ell. You need not worry your pertty head about that.










xoxoxoxoxo

When the World Stands Still.

James left and the world stood still again.

I got out the canvas and began sketching things to paint outside,
in the world I loved. I remembered the nurses working in geriatrics
 and how much a painting of snow and mountains appealed to them.

Rooms full of such paintings certainly inspired people to get well.

With technology going rampant however, people don't sit and
waste time with philosophy or dreams about life.
Times have changed.  People have changed

and those who havent well,.. they struggle along as best they can.

Much is lost in the process.
Much is gained but those who gain, sit in a violent world with
so much pain and suffering around them.
As much as we want to  see it all go away, the problem just keeps
 getting larger and people still keep dying.

We wonder why and we don't understand.

Nothing stands on a rotten foundation, so it must be all torn down and
 people have to begin again and again  and again till they get it right.

After a while,

I decided to make some chiacchieres  since I had lots of staples.

All they needed was 1 lb flour 1 1/2 oz confectioners sugar, 2 eggs,

1 1/2 oz butter 1/2 cup milk 1 pinch salt 1/8 oz baking soda, vanilla

and frying oil

You mix all the ingredients into a dough, let sit 15 min then cut out in diamonds or make little bows by putting a slit in the middle and pulling through one end. Then you fry and sift some confectioners sugar over each piece.

I just finished when I saw ol Burt pulling his mule Jesse.

Eh there! How r you? What a surprise?

Need any help?

I'm fine. I'm fine. he growled coughing to clear his throat.

Saw your smoke and thought you'd be home.

You'd be right there but sometimes I see my smoke and know
I'm not home. I laughed.

Well gatta xpect that girly being so far inside these woods

but company's nice once in a while.

Sure is Burt. Good company though.
Come sit here a while.You're just in time.

I made some cookies.

I got Burt some stew and bread.

He began eating and thanked God it wasn't squirrel or some other local critter.

See you got some pelts.

Ya ...ya. Gotta eat something so the pelts get left behind.

Makes for good sewin for winter.

You gonna spend the winter up in the hills again?

Nah. Never do.
Saw a helicopter flying around back yonder though

Back yonder where?

Oh by the foot of Bear.

Bear?  That's funny. Was it a small one?

Not too big.

Hmmmm I wonder why they are up there?

Well sumptins goin on up there that's for sure.

Well my friend James flies one but he didn't say he had to go up there.

Of course we didn't talk much about why he comes here anyway.
I thought naturally it must be to see me but I could be mistaken.

What's he doin this James?

Mostly work having to do with earthquakes and volcanoes.

You think one is coming to this area?

Been in these mountains a while now.

Did notice the animals were gettin skimpier.

But I figured it was cause of the big cougar that

roams out that way.

Oh is he still around?

He almost jumped me and Beau once but this old wolf

chased him away.

Burt wiped his chops.and whiskers and gulped down

a glass of cold water.

You mind if we hunker down here for the night?

No. Not at all. Put Jesse into the coral and let her rest.

I'll just do that Missy and then come back for some coffee if 
you have any and some of those cookies you bragged about

I didn't brag . I was just happy to have someone share them with me.
 I'll pour you a big cup of Joe..

Ol Burt was in his 70's but strong as an ox pulling that mule of his.

I guess not every one is meant for the city.

People still like to go and get lost in the woods.

Beats an old folks home anytime.

You sure have a great hat there Burt.

Burt laughed

Yup. It's pretty full all right. He pulled it off to show me.

Got me lots of thread here in the inside and full of needles and hooks on the outside. Been used a lot too.

Is the fishin good?

Ya know, it is.

I can't say that I've been hungry.

Always had something on the line.

It's some God Awful beautiful country up there Ell.

If it didn't get so cold in winter, I'd stay there.

He pulled out his pipe and tobacco and settled in.

The weather was holding up.

Hey, you know there is a place to clean up in the bathroom Burt.

After you do that you can use the fold out couch for the night.

That's very kind of you Ell
Bones would sure appreciate it.

Anytime ol friend.

I found the days to be too short as I lay down to sleep that night.

It felt good to put my head on a soft pillow.

I kept thinking about James and why he was still by Bear Mountain.

or was he?

xoxoxox

Only Love.

.....After a few moments we came back to  our senses.

James filled a plate with fish and tomatoes with onions
topped with olive oil and lemon.

The Jews are still waiting for their Messiah aren't they?

Yes, of course but they are united where it comes to Sarah and Isaac
and where it went from there.

Ishmael was not really rejected by the Jews either. They did not cut strings
altogether and so this melodrama with Israel is ridiculous.
How does a Father totally reject a child?
We are all the same people just choosing different means to believe
in the same thing.
I guess the question will always be what is more powerful?
Muhammad, a prophet, ruling through fear  control and power?
Jesus, as son of God, ruling as a triad, through love?
Jews waiting for God to come to them as a chosen people?
Or the mob who believes in nothing?

That does cause a heck of a problem doesn't it?
This is basically the problem with this world.

Is it?
Isn't it like everything else in life?
It's like God gave us things to think about to keep our minds busy but
it's all irrelevant.

In paradise Adam and Eve had the snake teaching them.
They lost a great deal because of it. On earth we have advertising.
People believe in the advertisment and once they get enough people
they turn the tables on them and collect.
Still...

They may have lost things but they also gained freedom and the right to choose,
and choosing what to choose is where it's at today.

People try to show independence but all they do is join another power group.
You can't live in a society unless you are a part of some power group.
I guess God wants us to really choose which way we want to go.
He wants us to know ourselves.
 Not that it matters or maybe it does to him.

Do we want Purgatory? Hell or Heaven?
People who believe in nothing will just end up with nothing.
No souls to talk about.
But the souls we are fighting about have to deal with a triad.
Heaven is Jesus, in the middle of the two.

So how do you think it will all end?

Well I dont know.
As a people and as a world, we would have to unite through either love or hate.
or live in purgatory fighting and debating.
Might be in the end God will say ok.
Enough.
Who believes in the prophet Muhammad, step to this side.
Remember, Muhammad is just a man. Just like the snake, is just a snake.
Nothing Godly there.
Then Jesus is the son of God ruling through love.
He travels between the worlds we know.
Who wants to go there, steps there.

The Jews might have to make up their minds which side of Abrahams' family
they want to live with.
Do they believe in the Messiah of fear and control or do they believe in a Messiah
of love.
I guess we have to know ourselves to know what true love is.
Then there is the mob, the saddest group of all.
They basically fly with the wind.

 Signifying that we are a creation of progress, intelligence and understanding,
create ripples that do change the future to be what it could or will be.
Judgement can be set upon us not for our petty sins, which we are not capable of knowing, understanding or controlling,since we do not learn, but on who we truly are as a species.

There in we see ourselves as a people, who are not the same and not equal
as the US Constitution says.
 We are different and our brain intellect is different, consisting of 4 groups.

So then I don't know where he will send us or what will become of us.
 We truly will be at Loves' mercy.

Gosh. You do think deep don't you?
 Why not live simply and let the chips fall where they may? 

Well, I can't see myself living any simpler than this. I laughed.
I am not looking for a Messiah. I think Jesus taught the right things to/for people,
and I think people all want the same things. They want love and to be free to choose.
 They don't want fear or to hate or be controlled.

But those who don't learn will continue to fight for those things.
Things like Power, greed, selfishness drugs sex...
The more things debase a person, the more they like it.
It's like good ness is a disease to them and yet they all have it in them.

So what will you do if you are attacked? Give up?

No. I will fight and probably kill to survive or die, but I won't hate.
You can't hate people who don't understand what they are doing.
How can one be guilty if one doesn't know ones' sins?
Like in Ovid's Metamorphoses play Dionysus was a wine god
who made mortals see things that really were not there .
He made one of his unbelievers be torn apart by his own mother.
Limited minds, make wrong decisions.
See ... the chips are in the air. We are not alone. lol

Life is not about sticks and stones, laws and taxes.
Life is about love.Man creates the rest
Living alone, one sees things better than living in a group
where one is told what to think, believe and agree to.

But if God is one, so is truth but to beget truth, is another matter.
People are not trained to do this.
 It takes a lifetime of study and still.....

So you are saying people don't know how to think?

People know how to think. They just don't know how to see through
all the ruble, the paradigms we have to live in.
They don't know how to apply the thinking process.
They are limited in things they can do.Drugs don't help either.
They clog the mind like booze or worse.

Man is limited but the limits he has are man limits, not Gods'.
The words we speak. The laws we make.
The people who preach  and govern  us every day.
These limits bind us and we will never be free of them unless
we are given this  freedom to be limitless and eternal and conscious..
No one can promise us this, except God

So we have to come to a conclusion, as to what God wants of us
as a human race.
Do we want to be with him or take our chances by ourselves and end up
fighting and killing and doing all this for nothing but a puff of smoke.

We worry about our souls but if the soul is destroyed,
 then there is nothing.

So now we think what if there is no God? What if there is no soul?
Then we owe no one anything. We live and we die . So what's the harm?
I guess some of the worst criminals we have, feel this way.

 We exist like the rocks and soil and have nothing to believe or think about.
Our world becomes a virtual world where we can do what we want,
feel no pain or suffering and just pretend.

Then we ask what if God has limits?
Then we think, he probably does.
He self limits because he understands and man does not,
that freedom is the ability to say no.
 Freedom does not exist by itself.
 Neither does fear, control, power. They all relate to something or someone.
Only love can stand alone and relate to nothing in particular
 and since GOD IS LOVE.....love is everything whether we are conscious of it or not.
Love is what God speaks in all creation whether it is seen or acknowledged or not.

The fact we are conscious of being and existing is a miracle in itself and this consciousness
lives in the soul. where we find ourselves.
We however do not belong to ourselves  but to love and love stands alone, as God, as one.

 It is hard to understand isn't it?

I could see James' eyes trying to have all this sink in.

Is it a wonder no one tries?
Easier to smoke a joint, drink some whisky and find a place to hide, to get away.
But I guess no matter what you do, raw truth stands there, like you said.

Yup. We exist only as a conscious entity and it is up to us to decide what we want.
Do we want Love? But it's not really a choice, is it?
Being part of the BIG 1 , we are all LOVE.

God always wins in the end even if we think he loses.
This makes watching movies on dark, evil entities boring and untruthful.
  Jesus was sent to explain it to us.
If we are  all 1 , then what is the point of getting offended or upset
 about what people do or say?It's like getting mad at yourself. lol

We have a time and a place to learn and experience so we can make the right decisions for the right reasons. Unfortunately many choose to govern, saying these words have no meaning and fool everyone else, to go further away from the truth but it still sits there as we tangle and mangle life
till it becomes meaningless. They mangle love, turning it into sin.
Love is not a sin. People interpret it sinfully as it was explained to them by other men and then it is used to wage wars in all levels of society and nations.
Interesting isn't it?

Stories. History. Life.
It all gives you a head ache.No one teaches people how to reach into the paradigm of the wicked mind, to show it that it doesn't need to do the things it does.

We continued with the morning sun, preparing for our day.
James had to leave and I had my children to care for.
My head felt heavy.
I waved good bye as he boarded his copter.
xoxoxo