Wednesday, August 31, 2011


It almost looks carved out but nope. This Golden Retriever chip came right out of the box this way.
My boys make fun of me and check out each chip I take out before I
It made for a nice shot on my son's Play Station.
I didn't find anymore like it.

Everyone is going to the
these days to get in on the fun.
They still have the old wood roller coaster as well as the metal one.
My son loves the bungy drop .
They strap you into a brace and then you get lifted high into the air to a pole.
Once there, you untie a rope fall and swing in mid air.
It's perfectly safe since the whole body seems to be tressed up.
Much better than just having your feet clamped.
My son came home beaming he tried it and survived.
I guess before I know it ,this thrill seeker, will go sky diving. lol
I sure hope not.

One thing I wouldn't mind doing is kite flying.
You are able to control the kite and just soaring in freedom like that must be great.
The closest I ever got to that was in Disney land.
They have this marvelous indoor ride or what feels like a ride.
Everyone sits on long benches which rise a few feet to get more people into more benches.
Then this cool wind blows on you and you are off soaring through the skies.
You fly close to the water you can almost touch.
You fly over trees and hills and the view is spectacular.
Its not dangerous lol
I could fly this way all day.
The other feature Disneyland had which I found to be great is the
hologram .
They make them so real that if you didn't know,
you would not believe it.

I will never forget taking my Dad to Universal Studios,When he found out how movies were made, he was so disappointed.
He always thought everything he saw was real.
He was not impressed with bullets coming out of the ground instead of from a rifle.
When he saw the small boats in a pond that were photographed as big ships he was
truly upset to be so deceived lol
At least now he understood that actors just play like children all day making films.
Its a fun life.
One day Chip will make his debut but for now he is fine sitting in my blog post lol.

Youth Issues - Saying NO

Brian Tobins' son was finally given a verdict of guilty for killing his best friend while drinking and driving. He got a three year jail term.

The family and friends of the dead boy wanted a harsher sentence than what Tobin got.

"Police say that after a night of drinking at a nearby pub, Tobin's friend ended up trapped under a truck about an hour after local bars closed.

Tobin and two friends piled into a rented Dodge Ram pickup truck shortly before 3 a.m. and did doughnuts on the fifth, uncovered, level of a parking garage while other friends watched, police said.

The victim, an Ottawa man, either fell from a passenger seat or the truck's bed as it spun around in circles and swerved, police say."
From this excerpt, one can see the death was a result of youth foolery ending in tragedy.The victim probably was also drunk.
Then I still remember Laura Szendreis' case where by a very nice girl was batted in the head by a young man who no one ever expected to do something like this.He was never in trouble. Always quiet.
We know the boys' family personally going back to kindergarten.

Everyone was upset during this time because someone was going around hitting women in the head from behind but until Laura, no one died.
Then to finally find out who did it??

Well , one could say this was very disturbing to say the least.

From what was written on the internet, people described the boy as a monster.
Another Ted Bundy.

But knowing the boys' family personally I could just cry because this is a tragedy.
Two young people destroyed, for nothing.

How was it no one saw it coming?
We as a community, failed this boy.
We pay more attention to minority issues and fight in wars where more people die, while our own childrens' eyes sit watching, in sorrow, hurting.

So I have to again go back in time and again resift the reasons why it is so important to allow kids to be kids
and not burden them with grown up issues which do nothing but confuse.Kids do not know how to self censor.

Media is very much to blame because not only do they propagate misinformation but they also push bad things for financial gain. When you ask them to print the truth, they say if they did, they would lose advertising.
So if the advertising was coming mostly from say Mafia??? they would never print anything against the mafia or face the prospect of closing down. So if they can't print the truth, then why do people. communities need them?
Kids read and believe what they print.

When you help to buy and sell peoples' souls, I'd have to say a line is crossed.


Offering kids birth control and abortions without parent consent or knowledge,
Pushing of alternative lifestyles in high school before kids have their own
inner selves sorted out.
Saying things like free sex is natural and normal before establishing what separates us from a lowly animal which has rules to follow.
Promoting sex before marriage as ok
Promoting individualism before a child is ready to stand alone or even vote.
Pushing that marijuana is ok.
I can go on and on because there is a lot to say today.

Kids should not be provided with info they are not ready for.
More importantly kids should have the love and support of their parents in a stable environment.
Parents should have the ability to control their kids.
Parents do not have the right to live a so called adult life, under their childrens' noses.

Liberal ideology dissolves and destroys families by pushing ideas kids can't handle and who then are lost in the society jungle.
They say everything is ok for a vote.

Are we not here to live for and protect our children or do we live just for ourselves?
If we are here to just live for ourselves then our purpose for existence is over.
There is no future to look forward to.

The future is always about youth.
Once upon a time it was about us.
The future lies now with our babies and their babies.

It is every parents' responsibility to say NO to child abuse, regardless of where it comes from and it comes through tv music,radio,schools,gangs,news,computers .It comes from within families themselves, from irresponsible adults , disregarding, for a buck, the rights of innocents.
No one escapes the last one.We are all guilty. lol

Everything one says and does is viewed by innocent hungry eyes searching for knowledge, who learn all the mistakes .

It takes self discipline to learn, to educate oneself.
This self discipline doesn't stop once you graduate but is a life discipline you carry all your life,passing it on to others because it is the right thing to do.

People are not born individuals. They are born dependents and grow into individuals after being exposed to the world and learning from it.
But there is such a thing as over saturation.

When children kill, there comes a time to say woah!
Hold on there and pull in the reins.

Society, as it stands today, can't do this.
Parents can't. Churches can't. Government can't. Teachers can't.
Try to expose evil and then wait to get trampled over by it.
It will sooner put a noose over your neck than loose its' grip on the young .
And then we watch the young die and point fingers at each other.

Why did we not all hold hands before and stand up to what's wrong in our world and say no?

Freedom, is to have a right to say no and no one should have to be afraid to say it.
It's too late to cry after blood is spilt.

If one doctor doctors another doctor, does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does he doctor the doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?

1. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
There was this lady who was visiting a church one Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on forever, and many in the congregation fell asleep. After the service, to be social, she walked up to a very sleepy looking gentleman, extended her hand in greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm Gladys Dunn."
And the gentleman replied, "You're not the only one ma'am, I'm glad it's done too!!"
A Tudor who tooted a flute tried to tutor two tooters to toot. Said the two to their tutor,"Is it harder to toot or to tutor two tooters to toot?"

polls - a hangmans' life

Winnepeg Free Press

Should pets be banned from airline cabins?

4389 votes
yes 59% no 42%

Should education taxes be linked to property taxes?

4,272 votes
yes 23% no 77%

What would be the result of decriminalizing marijuana?

6019 votes
37% loss of revenue for criminals
42% new source of fed and provincial tax revenue.
5%what was the question again?
11% even worse drivers
6% increase sales in pizza and tacos

Dog Licensing

4957 votes

22% all dogs should be licensed
38% all dogs and cats
8%not mandatory but good idea
32% its a cash grab.

These polls always impress me.
Where how and why do people get their opinions?
Whose voice will a democratic government, consisting of a free people listen to?
Our system is supposed to protect the minorities against majorities and this has caused many an issue to arise out of otherwise very clear views as to how we want to live and be governed.
It caused many laws to be passed people do not want.It causes money to be freely thrown away by governing bodies who do not break their backs making it.
It causes inflation, recession, jobs leaving, more people asking for hand outs than necessary.

Taxes were supposed to be temporary things and people ran to free lands, to get away from them.
Here our taxes are being used in ways we do not necessarily want them to be used and more demands made for money, for issues we do not support.

So the question is:
Should we be forced to pay taxes?

Should this not be an individual or corporate decision to pay them?
Where should government get money from?
Play Centers?

I mean, this is where most of the money is made today.
Actors become billionaires overnight for bad behavior, vanity, and for making public spectacles of themselves.
People love to read, see and watch gossip in big headlines.
Should media therefore be taxed as opposed to individuals per se?

Should people pay to read headlines in the news?

Personally I think revenue can come from other sources rather than taxing a man as an individual. As it stands right now, we pay taxes and then repay taxes on already taxed things and do not get value for our money.
For example fruit. It's expensive. Goes on a long journey through many hands.
By the time it reaches your table, it's also rotten.

Interesting venue of discussion.

A little girl came home from school quite upset.
Her Mom asked her what the problem was
With tears in her eyes she explained she was terrible at reading
I am stupid! stupid! stupid! she screamed.
Upon glancing at herself in the mirror she
stopped to take a closer look which seemed to brighten her spirits.
Maybe I'm stupid she said but I am sure pretty.

Little Mikeys' birthday came and for a present his parents got him a great dane to play with.
Mikey looked up at the huge dog and asked:
Is he a present for me or am I a present for him?

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Egyptian Ingenuity

Ancient Egypt had ways of creating energy and this article below is very interesting.
and worth looking up.

Create the article

It dates all the way back to the days of Jesus where scientists said they found no soot deep inside pyramids which they should have, if they only used fire from candles and oil for light.
It is believed Egypt knew how to make batteries and light bulbs.

Today, we could use one light bulb to light a whole house at night by using mirrors placed in strategic places.
Not many people do however but it would be a good selling point I think.

Like in my house, as a selling point, the contractor put in so many ceiling lights which constantly burn out.
I rarely changed a bulb in my Mothers house and they used regular GE light bulbs.

Nothing replaces good ol fashion sunlight and so we should go outside to enjoy it for good mental and physical health.

Solar power absorbed during the day, light up our back yards but these little power lights can also be used to light up our homes.

Today with a little ingenuity, life can be a lot of fun figuring things out in each home.We always have wind to supplement sunlight power.

I can't help but feel that with our planet being so old,man and technology existed before and was for some reason annihilated by some disaster like the dinosaurs were. Maybe it was whipped around the galaxy before finding this orbit we are on today.
The planet has a way of churning itself in such a way so as to destroy all evidence of previous existence of life.

Maybe some escaped and then once things cooled off and the planet was again capable of supporting life, man began again from scratch.
With everything destroyed, he was left with little in terms of learning and had to begin from scratch as a caveman.

Today with impending prophesies of doom in 2012,this could happen again.
We see disaster after disaster unlike anything we've seen in our lifetime or maybe life was always the same except that it wasn't advertised as it is today.
People just died and no one knew.It is predicted that the Atlantic will disappear as will the Mediterranean and Australia will join with Asia.How will it happen? Slowly or Quickly?

In Australia, the Aboriginals discovered by sailors,lived off the land and rarely stayed in the same place for very long.They built no shelters and left no visible traces that they were ever there.They knew how to survive though in places where
others would definitely die.

This morning in BC, we fear cougars wolves and bears which are coming down from the North to feast on the weak and the feeble.Yesterday two children were attacked by a cougar on Vancouver Island and is being hunted now by the police. People are advised to stay away from bogs and wood trails because we seem to be having more and more incidences of attacks.
What can you do?
I guess we have to go back to cow boy days and carry a gun for personal safety or risk being mauled by a wild animal.

On the other hand raccoons are proliferating at an amazing pace in the lower mainland and as people are not allowed to shoot them, they are next to impossible to get rid of.
They are extremely intelligent.
A good supply of cougars lynx and bobcats would resolve the problem.
As usual, man interferes.

Today Canada is also switching from analog to digital.Everyone will need a special 30 dollar box connected to the regular tv set now to watch it.

That's all the interesting news for today folks :)

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?



Posted by Picasa

Today on MSN they had a question : Do you multitask while driving.
I said yes.
Of course over 73% said they didn't and I had to laugh.

On TV they show MCDonald Drive throughs, with people buying coffee ice cream .
You never see people with two hands on the wheel at all times.

People smoke while driving. Always have.
They keep one arm out of the window.
They scratch their heads, pick their noses,show an annoying driver their middle finger,

And even if you had two hands on the wheel, the anxiety and frustration you suffer on the highway may force you to make grave decisions like driving too close to the car in front.Or using two hands to make a harder turn than one hand would, causing the car to roll.Dancing and singing in the car seat with two hands on the wheel is multitasking.

Reading signs on the road, trying to stop sun glaring into your eyes in areas you can't stop.
Having something blow through your window you have to get out of your face and eyes.etc..

To make a long story short, we used to live in a thinking society and to pass laws to stop multitasking is to say that we are not a thinking society anymore.
Laws pertaining to this opens people to abuse because there is no way to drive without multitasking.
Driving itself is multitasking

You need two feet in standard cars
Even if you give manual hand signals you multitask as part of the driving standard.
Even seat belts and balloons which blow into your chest at 300 mi an hour are not safe.The belt slides up into your neck and requires adjusting.

Today there is no such thing as being safe.
The more laws we have the more tension it puts on people, the more people crack up and the more crime they commit.Now they are trying to add multitasking.

Laws today make us all criminals because we cannot follow all of them.
It opens doors to critics who themselves have things one can criticize.

So why do we pass stupid laws?
Stupid laws are passed to extort money and extortion, legal or not , is a crime.
It again creates tense people who go out and then commit more crimes.

It is better to have people understand and be corrected when they don't, so next time they try harder to do the right thing but even then, we make it a point, to point out and object to laws like same sex marriage and abortion and prostitution etc...

Laws promoting a lifestyle that may not be safe.

So....... going back to multitasking again.
Why is it wrong again? lol

Facts About Men

1. Husbands are like children -- they're fine if they're someone else's.

2. Women don't make fools of men -- most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

3. The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: you're sick of him.

4. Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too.

5. A woman's work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do.

6. If you want a nice man go for a bald one -- they try harder.

7. Go for younger men. You might as well -- they never mature anyway.

8. Men are all the same -- they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.

9. Definition of a man with manners -- he gets out of the bath to pee.

10. Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he is married.

11. Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men -- a woman.

12. There are a lot of words you can use to describe men -strong, caring, loving -- they'd be wrong but you could still use them.

13. Men's brains are like the prison system -- not enough cells per man.

14. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -"don't" and "stop", unless used together!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

one huge tomale

A tomato weighing won a Siberian farmer a car.
Now that's what I call a tomato.
Restaurants can use one like it to make a ton of salads lol

Yury Babayev became the triumphant winner of this year’s contest in Krasnoyarsk Region’s town of Minusinsk. The tomato, weighing in at a robust 2.146 kilos, broke a new record for Siberia.

The two-kilo-breaching salad item brought the tenacious farmer a Russian-made Lada 2107 car.

The heaviest tomato ever, weighing 3.51 kg, was grown by Gordon Graham of Edmond, Oklahoma state in 1986 – the same year the Chernobyl disaster changed the world.


Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols:
It was considered a unique find and the writings were said to be at least 3000 years old!
The piece of stone was removed, brought to the museum, and archaeologists from around the world came to study the ancient symbols.
They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss the meaning of the markings.

The President of the society pointed to first drawing and said:

"This is a woman. We can see these people held women in high esteem.
You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol is a donkey, so they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.

The next drawing is a shovel, which means they had tools to help them.

Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish which means that if a famine hit the earth and food didn't grow, they seek food from the sea.

The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews.''

The audience applauded enthusiastically.

Then a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said,

"Idiots...Hebrew is read from right to left...
It says:
''Holy Mackerel, Dig The Ass On That Chick"

Saturday, August 27, 2011

hip hop magic

Oh give me a doze of that hip hop magic
Magician hats and wands
A flare of ruffles and lace delightful
Seen as a gift in your loves' song

Your smile befriends both friend and foe
You know you're doing right
and you've got the bug of the hip hop magic
with each uplifting thought

Folks watch you dance on bird like wings
Feathery fluttering when the storm is passed
Magically soaring over every pain
Letting heaven in to repair domains

I need a doze of your hip hop magic
So my world may sing
Give me a doze of this trust and friendship
To relate to both my friend and foe.

I wish to soar over death and sadness
Resolve the madness of the world.
Please give me a doze of your hip hop magic
So heaven is something we all know.
A Lady's Life.

A Friend shared this article with me and I want to share it with you.
Why do I have a variety of friends who are all different in character?
Some of them can be considered marginal even?
How do I get on with them all?
I think that each one helps to bring out a "different" part of me...
With one of them I am a polite, good girl.
I joke with another friend.
I sit down and talk about serious matters with one of them.
With another I giggle at every silly thing.
I have my wine with one
And dance with another.
I listen to one friend's problems and give them advice
Then I listen to another advising me.

They are all like pieces of a jigsaw,
When completed they form a treasure box.
A treasure of friends!
They are my friends, who understand me better than myself,
who support me through good days and bad days.
They are like colourful anti-depressants that I take on different days.

Real Age doctors tell us that friends are good for our health.
Dr. Oz calls them Vitamins F (from Friends) and counts the benefits of friends to our well being.

Research shows that people in strong social circles have less risk of depression
and terminal strokes. If you take Vitamin F constantly you can be up to 30 years younger
than your real age. The warmth of friendship stops stress and even in your tense moments
it decreases the chance of a cardiac arrest or stroke by 50 %.

I am so happy that I have a stock of Vitamins F!

In summary we should value our friends and keep in touch with them.
We should try to see the funny side of things and laugh together, not forgetting
to open our mouths big to swallow the floating vitamins F !!!!
Thank you for being one of my vitamins!

Life’s greatest joy is giving kindness to others.
‘Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don’t matter
and those who matter don’t mind.

Saving Paradise

yikes hurricane Irene sure made headlines these last days.
First time I hear the news saying if you decide to stay in the hurricane area, put your particulars in your shoe so we know where to locate your kin.
Again floods took over many areas and you have to think that yes, God is punishing the world.

It is said that maybe all this is happening because the plates are changing again and the future holds a planet with no Atlantic or Meditteranean and a huge pacific.Australia is to join Asia.

Everyone waking up from the grave will find a new world.

In BC we finally have some hot weather.In the morning its cool and the afternoons get hot.
my arm is lowly healing although I want and need to work with it.
Then with ouches I remember. lol
No can do.
Oh well
Guess its up to my guys then.
My so decided to invite me to go on a car ride yesterday.
So we ventured to Burnaby to our biggest mall called

Usually we get good summer sales but this time round the stores keep their prices stable.
Students and seniors get discounts.

I think BC voted against the HST tax so now
I think its being replaced with another tax and more money lost to change things around
I guess As long as BC does things without asking the people we will continue to have problems but they don't care
They will leave with huge pensions and find cheaper places to live.

Hope you all are safe and happy.


She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?
(That one's just sorta sad...)

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own ... so does she. (I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)
(Serves him right for smoking, frankly. Thank you, P, for quitting!)

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"
(Now where does it say that the man actually cleans the coffee machine every day?)

Thursday, August 25, 2011

doctor doctor 2

Yesterday, in a long time, I decided to accept my sons kind invitation to take me out for a car ride.
Usually at his age he has too much to do to involve me. lol
It was a gorgeous day.We visited a few stores and I treated him to a meal at the Mall.
When I got home I missed a call from Dr Browns' office
so I called back to tell them I was returning the call a few minutes later but as usual you could only leave a
My husband also called them to leave a message.

Today at 9 am the secretary called and told us she called three times and left messages,
We don't have a message service so I don't know how she did this.
Anyway she was angry and said we had an appointment with a Dr Perry at 8 am at the royal columbian hospital.
Well my husband told her we got no message and I was there for one of her phone calls which I missed because she did not ring long enough for me to answer.

Personally I think something is wrong at Dr Browns' office. lol

Well she said she will see if we can still go there after 9 am
She calls back and says ok go now.
So we got ready and went to the cast clinic there. People were waiting a long time to be seen so it really did not matter that we were late.

Dr Perry asked what my story was and I explained everything from the beginning.
His assistant asked me to move my fingers in a certain way and thumb
They move fine except today they are swollen from the new cast.

Dr Perry said my hand was collapsed but not that bad.
He said usually what they do is they have to rebreak the bones and put in a metal plate.

I asked him what would happen if I left it the way it was.
He said that's another option.
The wrist is healing and there is no reason why it can't be functional as is. He said to keep the cast on for another three weeks and to make an appointment to see him then.
Right now we tried to make an appointment and there is no one at the office lol.

He said if I am unhappy in the future, I can always fix it at a later date cause nothing would change. He was positive and I felt better.My wrist doesn't look crooked just a bit swollen.
I am now at home again to nurse my poor self. lol

Now I can feel sorry for myself and kick myself in the ass for not being more careful. lol

The hospital is full of sick people. While we were there, so many little kids came in with broken arms and wrists. My son is a soccer player and I was always obsessed warning him and his team to watch their legs cause they only have two.

Some listen some don't but there are more head concussion issues than anything else.
We saw one game when an 18 year old goalie got a full kick in the head with the bottom of a soccer shoe and it broke his cheek bone and the bone over his eye. That was gorry.
It was one of our players that did this.

What I was happy to see at the hospital, is that they have new kind of casts which you can swim with.
I am impressed . :)

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

doctor doctor

The wrist story doesn't seem to be a good one.
It seems to have collapsed they said and now I have to go see another specialist who may or may not be able to put it together they said through surgery.

My fingers move fine as does my thumb and the wrist goes up and down,

but the doctor said i was supposed to come see him on the 2nd of aug and we called before coming to find out where we had to go and the answering machine answered to tell us the office is closed
till the 15th
when we finally got to see the doctor he was giving me hell and shoving a piece of paper under my nose, that we never showed.
He said the cast had to be taken off cause it was a temporary cast.
No one told us any of this at the hospital and I was sitting tortured by the jagged edges inside cutting into my wrist.

The doctor seemed to be too much on the defensive to my liking.

He could have been waiting for me on the moon but if I don't know to find him there, he could wait forever.
His office was closed to the 15th and his secretary never told us where to go.
We were not happy either and thought this is all crazy.

This is the kind of bureaucracy you end up having with medicare.
Over worked staff, confused patients. tons of paperwork. the pass the buck attitude
On top of that they charged me for a different cast made up of material which they took two seconds to wrap and two minutes to harden.
Its purple.The doctor told me to complain to our premier for this .
I told him I would.
they do not seem to understand to put more padding inside so as to make it more comfortable for the patient. I told him he was cutting circulation and he said he wasn't.

Now again when it gets hot and the wrist inside swells, the cast digs into the broken wrist.
I could just scream.

I can't help but being very angry at the arrogance of these doctors . What did the think people do waiting to see them.Its so hard to get an appointment that when you do get one you don't miss it.
but I am glad I held my tongue .It must be frustrating for them as well.

I know it is best not to have to deal with them at all.

What a mess.
They change the medicare card ever 4 years I think and we didn't get ours so after bothering them for so long they kept telling us its in the mail but we never got it.

So I was still not registered in the system at the hospital and we had to call again for our number
for this second doctor. Of course they reassure you not to worry. Ya right.Talk to deaf ears and then get thousands of dollars worth of payments to make they will (never) reimburse you.

To have a system like this is not good if it is not controlled.
They are doing a bad job and it is costing people plenty.
My husband came home from emergency with a virus and was in bed three weeks because of it.Many old people do as well because they can't seem to get the virus out of the hospitals once its in. They are very frail with many problems so to add broken bones to the pot is not easy on their care givers

We tell people our story and hear nightmare stories in return, of surgeries ending in infections and used Depends lying on window panes where it is supposed to be a germ free environment.

I knew this was bad news to fall and now I am not looking forward to what is to come.
Now my sister in law also fell on the sidewalk but luckily didn't break anything She said she was thinking of me while falling lol
Boy that must have been scary for her lol

Doctor, Doctor
Every bone in my body aches!
Just be glad you aren't a herring!
Doctor, Doctor
Can I have second opinion?
Of course, come back tomorrow!
Doctor, Doctor
I think I've broken my neck?
Don't worry - keep your chin up!
Doctor Doctor
My daughter has just swallowed my pen - what shall I do?
Use a pencil!
Doctor Doctor
What can I do? Everyone thinks I'm a liar?
I find that very hard to believe!
Doctor, Doctor
I feel like a pack of cards?
I'll deal with you later!
Doctor, Doctor
You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!
Do you drink a lot?
Not really - I spill most of it!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Saving Grace

Diefenbaker - a definition of an honorable man

"We shall never build the nation which our potential resources make possible by dividing ourselves into Anglophones, Francophones, multiculturalphones, or whatever kind of phoneys you choose. I say: Canadians, first, last, and always!"
June 4, 1973, House of Commons.

Diefenbaker understood united we stand, divided we fall and he worked towards national unity .

Unfortunately the country didn't understand what he stood for.

Later with Levesque pushing for Quebec separation,Trudeau asked Quebecers, what would change with such a drastic move?

Diefenbaker Quotes

Saving Grace

Eleven people were hanging on a rope
Under a helicopter..
10 men and 1 woman.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all
So they decided that one had to leave,
Because otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren't able to choose that person,
Until a woman,named Grace, gave a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope,
Because, as a woman,
She was used to giving up everything
For her husband and kids or for men in general,
And was used to always making sacrifices
With little in return.

As soon as she finished her speech,
All the men started clapping . . . . ..

Men are gentlemen aren't they?

Monday, August 22, 2011

Harry Truman

Men make history and not the other way around. In periods where there is no leadership, society stands still. Progress occurs when courageous, skillful leaders seize the opportunity to change things for the better.
Harry S. Truman

Harry & Bess
(This seems unreal.)

Harry Truman was a different kind of President. He probably made as many, or more important decisions regarding our nation's history as any of the other 42 Presidents preceding him. However, a measure of his greatness may rest on what he did after he left the White House.

The only asset he had when he died was the house he lived in, which was in Independence Missouri . His wife had inherited the house from her mother and father and other than their years in the White House, they lived their entire lives there.

When he retired from office in 1952 his income was a U.S. Army pension reported to have been $13,507.72 a year. Congress, noting that he was paying for his stamps and personally licking them, granted him an 'allowance' and, later, a retroactive pension of $25,000 per year.

After President Eisenhower was inaugurated, Harry and Bess drove home to Missouri by themselves. There was no Secret Service following them.

When offered corporate positions at large salaries, he declined, stating, "You don't want me. You want the office of the President, and that doesn't belong to me. It belongs to the American people and it's not for sale."

Even later, on May 6, 1971, when Congress was preparing to award him the Medal of Honor on his 87th birthday, he refused to accept it, writing, "I don't consider that I have done anything which should be the reason for any award, Congressional or otherwise."

As president he paid for all of his own travel expenses and food.

Modern politicians have found a new level of success in cashing in on the Presidency, resulting in untold wealth. Today, many in Congress also have found a way to become quite wealthy while enjoying the fruits of their offices. Political offices are now for sale (cf. Illinois ).

Good old Harry Truman was correct when he observed, "My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!

Dig him up and clone him?

I don't know.

Different times different perspectives

jack layton

Today along with the rain we are at half mast in our nations capital.
NDP ,Jack Layton, leader of the opposition, passed away from a long fight with cancer.

He is well known for his fighting spirit, standing against smoking, fighting to end aids,
fighting to help seniors, fighting for good healthcare and for justice.
He still had much he wanted to do. He was known as the but man.
People would say.....we want this and that etc...... but.....Jack said no. lol

He was always smiling ,spent lots of time with people he cared for and was known to come out with a tune or two.

He was a respected Canadian politician by all his colleagues, even if they did not agree on all the issues he stood for.

His presence will be sadly missed in parliament as he was deeply dug in.

We thank him for all his efforts and commitment to our country and send deep condolences to his family from

A Lady's Life

May God greet him and keep him and love him
He was a friend to all who met him.

Rest in Peace Jack

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Being Served
Last week, we took some friends to a new Indian restaurant, 'Muthu's Place,' and noticed that the Indian waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.
It seemed a little strange.. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the Indian staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'
'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil.
It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now..'
I was impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the Indian waiter's fly.
Looking around, I saw that all of the Indian waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'
'Oh, certainly!' Then the Indian waiter lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant.
That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.'
I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'
'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.


Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbour and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table. 'Young man, we're both 90 years old, ' the husband said ..'We may not have 45 minutes.' They were seated immediately.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

pondering give and take

give and take
ebb and flow
yin and yang

All societies have come to understand the meaning of these words without religion or politics.
Maybe this is also why we can understand why God did as well when he gave us a most perfect world he created. Man was given the breath and a gift of life and a world to live in.

Man accepted the gifts and began to make live sacrifices in gratitude for the kindness shown for breaking rules of Eden and maybe this is how religion began.

What was to have been a generous loving gift was distorted and turned into more demands, cries for help
and fists being shown the creator who is blamed for all the woes.
Woes, which man is responsible for creating resulting from free will, individualism and knowledge.

People forget the above words.
God gave but nothing lasts for ever.
In the end all goes back to the creator.
If we believe in Jesus, as the son of God, then we know he was sent to show man the way, to educate him in the light, just in case the 10 commandments were not enough.
God did not require live sacrifices. His gift was life, to live, not to die.

He takes it back all in its' own time and man along with it but now hopefully a more experienced spirit, who might understand better, the laws of heaven.

To survive, man had to learn to sacrifice for others. Families work for each other to help bear the load. Friends help when in dire straights and then societies and nations, all work for the better good.
This was how it was intended.
Man had to learn, that he cannot live by bread alone and if he wanted knowledge and individualism, then woe goes along with it.
Everything depends on everything else.
Destroy the balance...........and everything destroys along with it.

Truth is cold and harsh.
It hits us like a flash of lightning or a falling icicle smashing its' tip into our head from above .
It's a very uncomfortable profound feeling .
We look to lay blame for our pain, on someone else. lol
even if the pain was meant for us for spiritual growth and understanding in the meaning of true love .
Without feelings, man becomes a zombie , a machine.

In todays world, man accumulates. He takes from other people not because he has a right but because he can. He does not wait for it to be offered but walks in and arrogantly takes.....
money, homes, families and lives. He creates unjust systems to use to legally help himself with a pen what was not worked for physically.

So many homes stand empty while man suffers living in the streets.
So much food thrown into the ocean, while hungry hands reach out into emptyness.
So much suffering result, as good intentions are stolen, not to reach the hungry, to be sold by the more powerful, the pretenders, for money, so they may live and then pray to the Father, to thank him for his blessing.

Then man is it right for someone more powerful , to come and take from him?
He riots, he fights and steals, sells drugs and becomes the bad guy.

He looks for someone to blame and wars begin. Evil takes over to try to establish what in their minds is good because they survive.
One fella installed a sun room for me and charged me 17 k for the job which he said would take two weeks not 180 days as he wrote in teeeeeeeny pale blue at the bottom of the contract, and a promised me wood looking aluminum finish they put along the sides of the inside walls.
Instead, they put in wooden shakes which had water climb them first rainfall and made it lool awful.I took him to court and he lied to the judge and won the case.
Later I told him he lied to the judge and he said so what, my family had food on the table.
He didn't care that my family was robbed and would not have food on the table. The judge didn't care even when he saw that this contract wth teeny pale blue lettering no one could read, is made up to do nothing but cheat a customer. The salesman disappeared. Terasen does this too.
Have a complaint? ????? lol no one there wants to know. Just pay them.

None of this is good because it is all about taking. This mans' family and the Terasen CEO's probably go to church and thank God for the blessing. lol

As long as there are wars, it means man is not learning.
Its not about an eye for an eye.
It's not about arrogance and a fist.
If it was, then God would have smitten all of mankind for the act of killing his son.
Of course he resurrected him to show man proof of life after death.
He will open heavens doors to the suffering and those in power, will be sent back to relearn they cannot makes decisions for God.
He is the one Father and it is all in his hands and will.
For man
it's about living in the light, educating yourself and accepting what it entails to actually live.
It's about loving your fellow man by giving and sharing and letting live.

We blame others for famine while 60% of north American children live on less than food stamps
while millions are spent on worthless placards to win elections which are then thrown away.
Millions are spent on guns to kill and take rather than give.

Man is growing but he is not learning.
If culling of people is the plan then expect to be culled because the yin an yang affects everyone.

Might be God might close heavens doors and send those who do not learn, back to relive his gift of life and sorrow till learning does take place.
If the scriptures are correct, then he will give man three life times to learn. lol
and if time is nonexistent, this can become an eternity of either suffering
or living in heaven by the laws of true life, Adam and Eve were given.

Adam and Eve had only one rule in heaven.

So simple it was.

Have a great day.

While driving in Pennsylvania , a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign... "Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust."
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie? They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'

Monday, August 15, 2011


You pick up a hitch hiker, a beautiful young girl
Suddenly she faints inside your car
you take her to the hospital

now that's stressful.

At the hospital you are congratulated as the Father as this girl is pregnant
You say you are not the Father but she says you are

This is very stressfull

So you demand a DNA test as proof
After all the tests they tell you you are infertile and probably have been since birth

You are extremely stressed but relieved.

On your way home you think about your three kids.......


relieve stress through laughing meditation

Sheesh! I haven't shaved in years.

Scary . lol

Perfect Imperfection.

We cannot change society.
The world moves forward and like it or not we will be taught to move along with it.

These things can happen.
First we will refute God as nonsense.
Gay people will marry and change what a family is if not destroy the institution of both family and marriage as we see today, with people forced out of homes into the work force and people killing their children. Eventually the social system will change because its unaffordable.
Then marriages will disappear, cause with free sex , no one will want to have the burden of children and spouses.

Then test tube babies will be born, government raised and science will get rid of gender since no one will have use for it anymore .

This will eradicate all men /women issues like romance love and commitment and breast and penis discussions . Lady Chelsea Lately will be out of a job lol
Hormones will be genetically controlled.

Purpose of man?
Well, depends.

Maybe we will genetically design people into a caste system, to do certain work so no one complains or organizes unions.

Society will be kept separate and only a few elite will have access to everything. Or maybe machines will do most of the work. So by controlling population growth, the planet might survive.

Democracy and voting will be diminished to a very few since there will be more machines than people.
Laws will be strict. Life expectancy controlled. Poverty and hunger eradicated.

People may as well be dead because they will have missed out on the best things in life, shared between people in freedom.

This revolution will destroy history and books and learning except for the few. or maybe not because the dull will not be interested in books as much at hootn and hollerin laughin at jokes watchin tv sports and drinkin beer. lol They will watch their Seinfeld show and Friends over and over again as dull brains tend to do.

Those, once normal God fearing people, who escape global control, will be hunted and destroyed
as a virus generally is. Norms will not be as easy to change through political or peer pressure.

All of this can come to pass very quickly and this is why the Bible says to love your fellow man instead of things.
To follow God's laws freely, which understand the essence of man, his programing and his true nature, needs and desires.

The true need is to love and to admire beauty in life and living as well as to be imperfect so the mind is challenged to grow and change and upgrade and perfect.

We look at God's creation and see he left it all uncontrolled to evolve in freedom.

Man on the other hand is never happy with either freedom or laws and his laws will go full circle to become null and void. You cannot both love and hate at the same time.

Either something is correct or it isn't in a broad understanding. Either it is right to kill or not.
So far we have not come to agree on anything as true or false in any religion or political arena and so laws, being Gods' or mans' , are rejected by some or by others.
Right now, we are free to do so and live in a gray area.

In as much as man wants change, change will come to pass, to result in no change at all because perfection has already been created and rejected as imperfection. lol
and then rediscovered again.

It's like that classy black dress that never goes out of style.
We keep looking for new things to change the old but then when push comes to shove, the good old things, get pulled out to wear.
The little black dress is therefore a symbol of the truth, the right,and the good, we say does not exist. The little black dress refutes all our efforts to create fads just to prove it to be wrong, bad and untruthful.

So ........the long and short of it, we cannot change society lol
The world keeps moving forward and like it or not, we will move along with it.

We will never be in control, never understand what we seek and never understand perfection if it hit us smack in the face.
It is mans' nature, to be the perfect imperfection.


Accept it, embrace it and move on

Have a great day!

bert and ernie

Excuse me if I am wrong, but are the puppets Bert and Ernie,not supposed to be children?
I mean , which grown up plays with rubber duckies? lol
Which grown up makes a mess when eating?
Which grown makes a nuisance of himself?
They never change clothes.
Now the gay population want them to marry?????
How dare they even suggest it?
Are they telling children now to marry young and be gay????

This is all getting out of hand.
These people are running wild and think they are above and beyond every one elses'
The two faced notion that you have to like them while they can hate you, is ridiculous.
Their gay parades border on public porn and you have to like it.

Watching Anderson Cooper today on CNN seems like he is on a holy mission to attack anyone differing their opinion from his, regardless.
Every day is about being gay,
instead of the news and the economic problems which hurt everyone, including them.

Get over it. You're gay....move on.

Their best question is : What if it was your child?

My answer would be that my child would have the same problems everyone else has in life.
Suicides, bashing and bullying occurs every where for one reason or another.
If you are a part of society, you are therefore not exempt just because the law says so.

So many people get bashed.
Seniors, fat people, disfunctional people, smart people dumb people , pretty and ugly people, ethnic people, cocky people,children etc....
Heck, they bashed our Prime Minister for combing his

People kill or commit suicide because of greedy banks, taxes, overzealous corrupt business
fraud and corruption,cheating spouses, drugs, hormone imbalances.....the list is long.I watched the atrocities in Sudan and Ethiopia.People, children, heads bashed for absolutely nothing except for being poor.
Poverty....mob riots.
This can all happen here overnight.
Why should gay people be exempt from all this fun? lol

They want to be a part of the party? Part of the game?
Then they have to be a part of the bashing as well.

I don't care one way or another what people do in private but when they cross the line of children, this becomes big with me.

Children deserve their time for innocence.

They need their time to play with rubber duckies, fairy god mothers, the easter bunny
and tall tales of heroes and villains.
They do not need to be smothered by gay issues or marriage.
I never remember asking my parents about marriage at that age.
My world was small and I was happy in it knowing nothing.

Born to confusion, how will kids be prepared to receive the next part of their education?

I am so glad my kids are grown now and I don't have to deal with this problem anymore but young parents need to pay attention.

The very nature of having to explain the difference between gay and straight people to kids gave me a nightmare. Like we don't have enough to worry about raising kids, we need this as well.

Crossing the line with Bert and Ernie is offensive.
Bert and Ernie are supposed to be young kids going through and doing what young children do and children do not marry at 2-3-4 and 5 years of age.

The saying goes :
Education is the light.
To live without it ,is to sit in the dark.
The scriptures warn however to make sure:
The light within you,
is not the dark

Had my say.
Hope every one has a great day.:)
Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced "One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don't worry we have three engines left".

Thirty minutes later, the captain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But don't worry we have two engines left".

An hour later the capain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be three hours longer. But don't worry we have one engine left".

One blonde looked at the other the other blonde and said "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day"

A Lady Forever

Here's to all the ladies who live and listen to the blarney of men.

These are the comedians who make us laugh and cry
who we treasure and always keep dear in our hearts regardless.
Men have many faults due to the simpleness of their nature
and yet they are as perfect as the unblemished rose they choose
to brighten your soul with.

To our men, who become our knights in shining armor, we will always be special ladies.
We choose each other to walk through heaven and hell with and what a better way to express yourself, than though acts of love kindness and forgiveness.
Life throws many curves at you and both need to find strength in each other
to prevail.

We will always be ladies to the men who love us.

And if they don't love us as they should, well..... their loss,
we can still laugh at their comical, simple minded ways of perceiving life
in hopes that one day they grow up and see, there is no where to run.

Nothing is more important than stability and keeping the promises in the commitments we make.
The grass might look greener on the other side of the fence but then so can yours be
if it is fertilized and cared for, in the same way.

Nothing says that crossing fences to the other side will brighten ones' future.
It just leaves ones' turf open to be cared for by another and built up to mean something better.
Something that was yours and thrown away.

A Lady for Ever


A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM."

He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Game of Cards

The song was originally done by Tex Ritter in 1948. The most popular version was recorded by Wink Martindale.

"The Cards" is set during World War II, where a group of Army soldiers, on a long hike during a campaign in southern Italy, had arrived and camped near a town named Cassino. While Scripture is being read, one boy who has only a deck of playing cards, pulls them out and spreads them in front of him. He is immediately spotted by a sergeant, who orders the soldier to put them away (thinking he's playing cards in church). The soldier is then arrested and taken before the Provost Marshal to be punished.

The Provost Marshal demands an explanation, to which the soldier explains the significance of each card

Ace: The one true God
Deuce: The Old Testament and New Testament in the Bible
Trey/Three: The Holy Trinity; the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit/Ghost
Four: St. Matthew, St. Mark, St. Luke, and St. John, evangelists and authors of the four Gospels
Five: The two groups of five virgins who trimmed their lamps for a wedding. Five were wise (by saving enough oil) and were admitted, while the other five were foolish (did not have enough oil) and were shut out.
Six: God creates the Earth in six days.
Seven: God rests on the seventh day, now known as the Sabbath.
Eight: The eight righteous people whom God saved during the Great Flood: Noah, his wife, their three sons, and their wives.
Nine: Of the ten lepers whom Jesus cleansed, nine of them didn't even thank him.
Ten: The Ten Commandments God handed down to Moses.
King: Jesus Christ, King of Kings and Lord of Lords, or alternatively, God the Father.
Queen: Blessed Virgin Mary, the Mother of Jesus and Queen of Heaven.
Jack or Knaves: Satan or the Devil
365 Spots: Days in a year

**NOTE - basic deck actually contains 364, + 1 for a Joker, (even though most decks of cards will contain 2 jokers)
52 Cards: Number of weeks in a year
Thirteen Tricks: Number of weeks in a quarter
Four Suits: Approximate number of weeks in a month (can also mean the four seasons but this is not included in the song)
Twelve Face Cards: Number of months in a year

Sunday, August 14, 2011


Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel ,

"Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead
you to the Promised Land."
Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said,

"Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel,
this is the Promised Land."

Today the government has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses,
raised the price of Camels,

and mortgaged the Promised Land to China!

I was so depressed last night thinking about my retirement, the
economy, the wars, lost jobs, etc . . .

I called a Suicide Hotline. I had to press 1 for English. I was then
connected to a call center in Pakistan.

I told them I was suicidal. They got excited and asked if I could
drive a truck......

The sun is still shining and we are weathering the storms lol

Grass is Greener Other Side Of the Fence

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large
plastic garbage bags behind her.
One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto
the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20
bills falling out of that bag."

"Oh really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and
see if I can find them.
Thanks for telling me officer."

"Well, now not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that
money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next
to the football stadium parking lot.
On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through a knot hole in the
fence, right into my flower garden.

It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I
thought, 'why not make the best of it?'
So, now, on game days, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real
quiet, with my hedge clippers.

Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him,
grab ahold of it and say,
"O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes!"

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck!
Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well, you know", said the little old lady, "not everybody pays."

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Turning Points

now lets not have a scene in front of company


A woman was in bed with her lover
when she heard her husband
opening the front door.

'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'

She rubbed baby oil all over him,
then dusted him with talcum powder.

'Don't move until I tell you,'
she said. 'Pretend you're a statue.'

'What's this?' the husband inquired
as he entered the room.

'Oh it's a statue,' she replied.
'The Smiths bought one and I liked it
so I got one for us, too.'

No more was said,
not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up,
went to the kitchen and returned
with a sandwich and a beer.

'Here,' he said to the statue, 'have this.
I stood like that for two days at the Smiths
and nobody offered me a damned thing.'