Squirrels Sharing Paradise.

I am so glad I keep my post cards. lol

A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of Squirrels. He pulls the guy over and says...
"You can't drive around with squirrels in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately."
The guy says "OK"... and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of squirrels, and they're all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands...
"I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo yesterday?"
The guy replies...
"I did . . . today I'm taking them to the beach!"

Father Son Hunting Trip

A father and son went hunting together for the first time.
The father said "Stay here and be very QUIET. I’ll be across the field."

A few minutes later, the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son.

"What’s wrong?" the father asked. "I told you to be quiet."

The son answered" "Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck."
"But when the two squirrels crawled up my pant legs and said, should we eat them here or take them with us?"
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Not a word out of you my friend!!!

Important Questions:

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? -- George Carlin

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? -- George Carlin

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? -- George Carlin

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? -- George Carlin

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When is a pig a pig?

Once upon a time there were three little pigs. The straw pig, the stick pig, and the brick pig.
One day this nasty old wolf came up to the straw pigs house and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." And he did!
So the straw pig went running over to the stick pig's house and said "Please let me in, the wolf just blew down my house." So the stick pig let the straw pig in.
Just then the wolf showed up and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." And he did!
So the straw pig and the stick pig went running over to the brick pigs house and said," Let us in, let us in, the big bad wolf just blew our houses down."
So the brick pig let them in just as the wolf showed up. The wolf said " I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." The straw pig and the stick were so scared! But the brick pig picked up the phone and made a call.
A few minutes passed and a big, black stretch limo pulls up. Out step two massive pigs in pin striped suits and fedora hats. These pigs come over to the wolf, grab him by the neck and beat the living crap out of him. Then one of them pulled out a gun and fired killing the wolf. Then they got back into their limo and drove off.
The straw pig and stick pig were amazed! "Who the heck were those guys?" they asked.
"Those were my cousins from Jersey -- the Guinea Pigs."

lol

Happy Monday !!!