Jobs Make People Laugh.

This dog is amazing. And not one swear word was used to make him do something.
That's why I love old comedians too , like Rodney Dangerfield, Milton Berle, Red Buttons, Totie Fields, Johnny Carson, Don Rickles, George Burns. They sure are missed.
They made jokes that crossed through all age groups.
Old Comedians were funny without using bad language.
They knew how to laugh at themselves and I guess this is what made them funny.

Like for example we have to give it to parent Diplomacy.

A Son calls his Mother to ask how she is
She says: I am feeling very weak.
Why?Asks the son
Because I haven't eaten in 38 days. answers the Mother
Why? asks the son
Because I didn't want my mouth to be full when you called.
lol
-------------------------------

When I read about the Evils of drinking , I stop reading.

--------------------------------
Why does a Mother make a good parole officer?
She never lets any one else finish a sentence .

--------------------------------------------------
There is a big controversy on when life begins.
In some traditions a fetus is not viable until after it graduates from law or medical school .

---------------------------------------------------



They left behind videos for us to enjoy. I especially loved to see Ed Sullivan there.
He always had a REALLY BIG SHOW and so many people were discovered and became great stars because of him.

:)

Beautiful ! Just Like My Wife

My parents were the perfect couple.
They always stuck up for one another.
My Dad had a lot of gusto for life
and My Mom complimented him
by supporting everything he did or wanted to do.
Or almost everything lol
Then he'd stop and reflect and know she was right.
He was right in many constructive things
She was right when it came to life and people.
Whenever he liked something, he'd always say:
Beautiful! Just like my wife.
Everyone would want to come to see who his wife was.
Then they'd tell him he indeed had a beautiful wife and he always loved hearing it.
He was a brat this way.
I used to watch them the last few years of their lives and they
were like two 16 year old love birds.
He, with his arm around her shoulders and
She, with her head on his.

My Mom was sick with Parkinsons and Alzheimers
Dad watched over her with so much patience.
When she had visions he would spend a good two hours
almost every night, cause that's when she had them,
explaining to her what she had and then she would
realize her brain was playing tricks on her.

It was both sad and beautiful to watch the two of them.

They said: You know. It can happen any time now.
Always with a smile

And I'd reply: Nah. You still have many years ahead.
Always with a furrowed brow.
I could never believe or accept that this life force would ever end.
It couldn't and it shouldn't.

No matter how much you prepare, you are never ready to say good bye.
Never ready to close the book as you reach the end of a good story.
The story lives on.
You put the book away and then your eye grazes over the shelf
where it lies
You pick it up and memories flood in

While time stands still
Music and songs return
Laughter, comedy, anger, sorrow, forgiveness,
hardships, joy, contentment,
All the poetry of love and struggles of life
Echo, never ending,
Through a few well chosen words.

Beautiful! Just like my Wife!


A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road.

He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.

The driver,
a sensitive man as well as an animal lover,
pulls over and gets out to see
what has become of the rabbit.
Much to his dismay, the rabbit is the Easter Bunny, and he is DEAD.

The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.
A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway
sees a man crying on the side of the road
and pulls over.

She steps out of the car and asks the man
what's wrong.

"I feel terrible," ! he explains,
"I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny with my car and KILLED HIM."

The blonde says,"Don't worry."

She runs to her car
and pulls out a spray can.
She walks over to the limp, dead Easter Bunny ,
bends down,
and sprays the contents onto him.

The Easter Bunny jumps up,
waves its paw at the two of them
and hops off down the road.

Ten feet away he stops,
turns around and waves again,

he hops down the road another 10 feet,
turns and waves,

hops another ten feet,
turns and waves,

and repeats this again and again and again and again,
until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished.
He runs over to the woman and demands,

"What is in that can?
What did you spray on the Easter Bunny ?"

The woman turns the can around
so that the man can read the label.

It says..



(Are you ready for this?)

(Are you sure?)

(You know you're gonna be sorry)

(Last chance)

(OK, here it is)

It says,


"Hair Spray
Restores life to dead hair,and adds permanent wave."

Happy Easter!!!
P.S. Please visit Westra on her blog to the right and vote for her on the pay it forward contest for cancer treatments Thanks.
:)

Beholden

Walk this land with me
Feel the softness of her mossy floor
Smell the pine covered roads of nature
Leading deep in to Gods' Land, so pure and strong.

Show me lush green pastures
Feed me words that I so yearn
Touch my heart so I can feel it
Love me, so I believe it's real.

Hold my hand in trust for me.
Let me sleep in blessed peace
Wake me, to a glorious dawn
Away, from divine warriors songs.

Walk, this spiritual land with me
Befriend, every grass and tree
Rock my soul in heavens' wind
Feed me words, in silent swells.

And one day, I shall be full
Knowing , reverent, touched by grace
Glad of peace and love and grail
From my last supper, at your table.

No longer hungry
No longer frail.
No longer weary
Sad nor pained.
I'll walk free, on my faiths' path

And here my love, is
Where we shall meet
In Gods' land, we'll stand and
Weep.

A Lady's Life.


--------------------------
There's a new garlic diet going around. You don't lose weight, but you look thinner from a distance. - Red Shea

The most pitiful case in psychiatric history concerns the two-faced woman who talked to herself and tried to have the last word.

I nearly got mobbed yesterday. I went to an antique show and said, "whats new?"


Have a good one :)

Roam this Land With Me.

Andy Williams Sings the words what the eyes and the heart feels.



We partake in the miracle of birth, with senses to see and feel the power and beauty of nature.
Why else would our spirits thrive ? We seek it every where.
From the brightest star to the minute microbe under a microscope.
We want to see and know it all.

Man was created both weak and strong, so he is humbled before forces stronger than he
and yet strives to conquer, teaching himself, to persevere and never surrender.

We were born to learn and achieve, protect and survive, inherit and donate to this planet,
the birth Mother of us all.
What a beautiful Mother we have, to nurture us and punish us as she sees fit.
We love her ability to understand what has to be done to survive. She is vibrant, alive.

Her spirit overflows with color and light and for a short time, we are privileged to witness her miracle,
as we roam this land, feeding our souls.

Have a wonderful day! :)

Around Kingfisher Oceanside Resort.

They were trying to make everything look a part of the environment.
Even the grass felt mossy and very soft.
The gardeners said it rains a lot and there is a harsh wind that comes in from the ocean.

This is the Kingfisher Oceanside Resort Hotel.
When we arrived it didn't look like this picture.
I believed the whole front building wasn't there and we were in the residences behind the little square house which had the heated pool.
The front of the building was a level lower and we never saw it.
The grounds were meticulously taken care of but the building from the entrance looked a bit shabby.
The rooms were very nice, but I found the mattresses hard to sleep on.
the restaurant served wonderful food.
When we tried to leave the room we found out the lock was broken and although it locked, the door was easily opened with a small push so we had to move to another room.
They were very nice about that.

This was our view from our room. The sliding door opened to a nice patio with chairs to sit on.
The air was very fresh and cool. It had a wonderful feeling to it.
This is the first hotel which asked its guests to drink their tap water.
So we did and it was very tasty water.

This was a nice gazebo beside the pool to have tea in and enjoy
Can you believe there was another building in front? You just see the ocean.

They were trying to make everything look a part of the environment.
Even the grass felt mossy and very soft.
The gardeners said it rains a lot and there is a harsh wind that comes in from the ocean.

Another wood carving

another wood sculpture. It looks like an eye.

Entrance to the heated pool area

Stork sculpture made of wood.

It has an old tennis court out front in the entrance, sauna, fitness room, etc..
Walking around this place made you feel calm, peaceful and relaxed.
People are very nice and the view is extremely special and I just couldn't get over the air quality.
I never wanted to go back into my room and this is rare because I always like to enjoy my room. lol
Have a good one.

The Wrong Mirror

I hate mirrors that speak the truth almost as much as I hate tailors who keep measuring you saying:
Oh, I think you gained a little.
You keep wooshing their tape measure away saying :
No!No!No! Just follow the old measurements.!

No Wonder people hate truth. lol

And then there are the lucky people, like my husband, who has no ass at all.

How can you live without an ass is my question?

Pure Genious!

lol

Blue Tsawwassen Beach

We walked along the beach in the early evening.
The wind blew from the shore as the tide rolled in
It was cold and we had to tighten our coats around us
and dig our hands into our pockets.
We got to a nice big log on the beach and sat on it

My husband poured the coffee we brought in the cannister.
It was nice and hot and welcome
Every now and then someone walks by with their dog
The dogs have a great time here
They don't mind the cold nor the freezing water.
They chase balls and sea gulls and the sea gulls love to tease them.
What a great life living by the sea.
You never get tired watching the waves in the early morning sun and the late sunsets.
Neither of us spoke as we stood and just breathed
A moment of solitude
A moment of togetherness.
A moment to love


Hope you had a good one.:)

yes! yes! yes!!!

CAN YOU IMAGINE LIFE GOING FROM NO NO NO

TO

YES YES YES???


Watch life change for Jim Carrey as he says yes to everything.
So funny.

I don't think I could do this.
I get myself into so much trouble.
This movie is equal to the one he made when he couldn't lie.
That one, I think I can do. lol
I get myself into a lot of trouble with that already lol

Maybe one day.

Delightful movie.

Have a good one.

Talent Born Every Day

You just finished playing the piano with your best companion helping you sing to the tunes you played.
You left the room to go shopping and now wonder what your companion must be doing while you are away.
This is how Talent is born Every day.
Enjoy!
:)

Tatty

This Tat was a very lucky and tough pussy.
We went to the SPCA to find a kitten for my son.
I am slow looking at animals and I stopped at every dog cage but my husband and son rushed through into the cat section and left by the time I got there.
I looked at the nice cats they had there and was not happy they left so fast.
When I went up front, there they were buying one of two very ugly kittens someone just brought in a cage a second ago.
My son said
Daddy I want dat tat.
I was a little upset because there were such nice kittens in the back but no
they had to buy a black one and it had to be a mickey mouse. and not really a mickey mouse because the colors were not symmetrical.
We brought him home and the dogs raised him to think he was a german shepherd instead of a cat.
He wasn't afraid of anything.
He even put a Rotweiller to shame one day when he swatted him across the nose and the Rottie came to me for help lol
He was a great guard dog around the house, the main man.
Once he got into the roof of a neighors house and couldn;t get out >
It was Christmas and I didn't like the sign that I was missing my cat at this time of year. We went out and called him and called him. We heard a meow but could not determine the location it came from. We thought some one caught him in a cage somewhere.
He was gone almost two weeks.
I told my boys he'll be back for Christmas but it was almost Christmas Eve and he wasn't home.
For a woman who didn't like black cats I was distraught so my boys went out to look for him again. This time Alex my oldest came running home and said Mom we heard a hoarse meow from the neighbors roof.
OK we had a location.
We went to the neighbor and told him we thought our cat was inside his roof.
He said He heard meows but didn't know from where they came.
Apparently he got through an eve into the roof and the eve closed up and he couldn't get out.
We had to climb up there and my husband pulled him out.
He looked like he was half dead but soo happy to be out finally and in my arms.
We took him home and he drank a lot of milk and then quieted down a while
Slowly we began to feed him and the next week we hear a knock on the door .
It was the neighbor telling us our cat was in his roof again.
We had to again climb the roof and get our cat.
Something was taking him there all the time.
The area is full of little critters and this Tat was a hunter.
The term curiosity killed the cat really applied to him but satisfaction always brought him back because we always saved him.
But just to think how many beautiful kittens are put down every year and this ugly cat survived because of a little boy, is uncanny. He never saw the inside of the SPCA.
His twin probably didn't make it.
Tatty lived 18 years. He was happy very intelligent and free to live a normal cat life, doing what cats love to do the best.
I didn't like him because he had three colors in his eyes and when he looked at you, he had a very eerie gaze, as if to say: Don't sleep or I'll eat you. lol
but then as it turned out,I loved him very much without knowing it.

We got him back for Christmas just as I promised the kids we would.
Two weeks without food or water.
Darn cat! :)

Have a good one.

When Lightning Strikes

I had to look this up on snopes because every one and his Mother today wears some electrical device on his body and this being lightning/tornado season....

Snopes said Ipods do not draw lightning but lightning strikes where it wants to and they conduct electricity since they have metal in them.

People wearing devices would receive serious injuries in the event of lightning striking nearby.

July 2007 In the New England Journal of Medicine they had a case
of a 37 year old jogger in Vancouver, being thrown 8 feet, when lightning struck a nearby tree.
He got 2nd degree burns to his left leg and chest neck and sides of his face.
Both ear drums were ruptured as well as the small bones in his ear. His jaw was dislocated and broken in 4 places

I have always been fascinated by lightning and how some people say they were hit more than one time.
I now wonder if it was because they had metal on them or if they had more minerals in their blood stream than other people do.
Then I came across an article
http://www.christiananswers.net/q-eden/origin-of-life.html

It asked :
Where did life come from ?
and this is why creationists and evolutionists are coming closer together.

Water = consists of minerals and chemicals to support life but does not give life.

Oxygen would have destroyed life, decomposed it through natural process.

Ammonia, nitrogen, hydrogen water vapor and methane also don't produce life and adding electricity to it only allowed for the production of some amino acids, from which proteins could be made but no life.
Even making them by fluke is like 10 to the 67th chance to one.
Scientists for the most part concluded, proteins required to support life, couldn't have originated by fluke through evolution.
It would be like saying a tornado could go through a junk yard, resulting in a Boeing 747.

Evolutionist Fred Hoyle agreed life could not have originated by chance
DNA has no intelligence. It can't be reproduced artificially or naturally in 10 billion years.
Only DNA can reproduce itself.
So there had to be an intelligent designer, like a computer programmer, to do this.

Scientists tried to design life the way evolutionists believed it could happen and found
when lightning strikes, it doesn't unite all the chemicals, minerals DNA proteins etc...
in the way they should be, for life to happen.

Very interesting article.

So if there was a creator who designed man, it must have been in his interest to see how long his creation would survive or if it would kill itself and die.
It is also logical to assume he would give man messages and guidance and show him that
life has no beginning and no end and people go on self journeys to explore to find them.

For others he gave instructions like the 10 commandments much easier
to understand because they encompass everything and because they do it is over whelming for man to accept them.
Man likes to come to his own decisions through his own journey.
To me God says if you follow this path , through my words
evil cannot touch you and I personally, found his words to be true.
I have never had psychological suffering as I see in people today.
People hate the 10 Commandments.
They are restrictions.
But they are only restrictions, for those who do not understand them.
They are a work of a genius, who could take all the laws in the world
and put them into 10 sentences.

In the end it will be between each one of us and God and I am sure he will find both good and bad in us all, and we'll be judged according to his wisdom.

Have a good one.

Who We Are.

I feel the pen quivering in my hand
with ever word I write.
Words engage my mind into feelings
which keep me alive.
I sing and dance to awaken my inner self
I cry to cleanse my soul of toxicity,
to set it free to fly into the light
I laugh and scream so anger leaves me and
I care not who hears me
For life's a dream,
A play, we leave behind.

A day will come when we are forced to awaken
from the dream, into true reality.
A reality, void of all the troubles we create
Within ourselves, just to keep it in real mode.

We'll see ourselves floating in a bubble,
As spectators,
To expressions of trouble in the outside world.

Our world is peaceful, without pain and sorrow,
But our nature, our need, to innovate, is real.
We can't wait for the curtain to rise
To express our dreams and fold into them,
As pages in a book, to tell a story
Of how a pin, pricked our finger so it bled red.
Of how vile a feeling it was to eat of something
putrid, which turned our flesh into yellow rot.
Or of how it was, to regenerate, rebuild into something beautiful again
Someone could actually fall in love with.
Or how one could love someone so ugly on the outside and
yet see how precious and beautiful the person was inside
we couldn't live a day without.

Who are we?
Are we real or floating in a bubble, dreaming, acting,
Wishing for sorrow and joy to ebb and flow
into our true state of existence?
Do we ripple from beyond recognition
Amplifying our existence into space
beyond our reach hoping someone would create us
into living bodies and then take pictures to send us back
in waves to fly by our bubbles so we could see our work
as we wrote them
with the quivering pen in our hand.

A Lady's Life

Raging Lady

The blackness of the sky, whirling her frilly skirts,
Like a demon, slapping me down into the soaking ground,
Belting me with hail stones, was her way to work,
Into making a decision, a decision not so far away from
My own, to either fight for life or die.

She did not flatter me to believe it was in any way
Going to be my decision, but hers alone.
Her scorn was very real.
A raging, water dragon lady, she allowed me to kneel
Just to blow me down again and roll me through harsh terrain
Tormenting my body, as her own soul.

Like I, she was unable to decide if she should fight or relent into tears.
I was nothing to compete against and my problems
Did not adhere to hers, as they were only personal to me.

On the edge of madness,I looked up into the blood stained
Eye of the sky, and laughed, screaming up into her wrath:
Decide!! Decide!! Demon Woman of the sky!!
Take me out of hell and let me die!!
Decide, and set me free!!
I know that's what you would have of me!

To which she rumbled and struck out in a deafening,
Explosive manner, pushing the arrogance in my face, down
Again into the muddy waters, drowning me in my own sputter.

Weakened by the tremendous power of her hand
I struggled to lift my bruised and bloodied face,
To squint half way up between her and Mother Earth.
In my madness, I couldn't understand the hesitation
She had the power and the will and here I was,
A willing victim.

And then it dawned on me, in her own way,
I was meant to perceive by this exhibition, that
My will to live was stronger than my will to die
I fought, by lifting up my head and she relented and
Cried before she push it down again,
Into soft mud, from which it was easy for me to rise.

She was forgiving, enchanting, wise and in total control

I dared not look up into the dawning of a new phase of the sky,
As she lifted up her black skirts
To show me, that in the end, the day would be brighter than bright.
I felt the caress of her warmth upon my back bringing me back to life and
To the living world, fluttering around me.

Humbled by her power and knowledge I secretly thanked her
For understanding me better than I did myself.
I went home to the love I knew I'd find there,
In spite of myself, in spite of everything that would be thrown at me
By living.

I was a man, as we are all men.
I was entitled to Gods' Given time in the sun, gifted to me.
I was entitled to my mistakes, to my failures, as well as to my victories
Because this is how we learn and take the knowledge with us when we die.
Each comes in its own time and my raging Lady showed me
It doesn't have to be hell,
to survive and
Death, is never an accident.

A Lady's Life.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless.....................

..........!

When fish are in schools they sometimes . . . take debate; because
they don't keep their mouth shut.


A thief who stole a calendar . . . got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles . . . U.C.L.A.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes . . . was on
shaky ground.

The batteries were given out . . . free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married . . . They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a . . . dead giveaway.

If you don't pay your exorcist . . . you can get repossessed.

An Innocent Life

I was born an innocent
As innocent as the day I was born, I grew
Until I saw my Mother cry
In front of the Lord.

And I looked up at his stern face
No smile or smirk, I found
I wondered, why did my Mom cry
And why she knelt, head bowed.

I was born an innocent
As innocent, as the day I was born, I grew
And when I looked up at the Lord
I was concerned, cause he was scorned.

I felt his pain up on the cross
I wondered why he died.
And when I saw the people come
They knelt, with their heads bowed.

Today, I am not innocent
I am scarred, from life and death
I stand before the Lord
But my head, is not bent.

I still look deep into his eyes
To try to understand why he's so stern
So sad, he died, up on the cross
For men..... who do not learn.

I was born an innocent
I die each day a little
I bear my scars, from life and death
I cry, for all who suffer
I lost my smile and innocence
Watching young men die
But now I know why my Lord lives
He lives..... so I, my family, friends and hope survives.

A Lady's Life

A Waves' Kiss

A Waves' Kiss almost drowned me
I sputtered and rolled with it
Till it spit me out to dry
Onto the shore,
A rolling stone, for you to find.
As I opened my sand filled eyes
I was held in tender arms and heart
Asking me to stay alive.

Every day I walk along the beach
Searching...
Beseeching Neptune,
To bring you back but he brought more waves
glistening in the sunlight, as if they were the answer
to my broken heart.

Your tender lips revived me
As they breathed air into my soul
But then you went and left me
for others to console.
And now I walk deranged
Awakened by new life
Lovestruck and forgotten by
my savior's guiding light.

Some days, I think I see you swimming
Far out in the waves
Your kisses so disarming
Unlike the kisses from the wave.
One day I hope that Neptune,
Rolls you out to me.
Till then I'll keep our love safe and
Close to shore,
For you to see.

A Lady's Life.

One of Natures' Tricks

Rita Hayward was another actress very pleasant to the eye.
Her soft voice in Mame and her red hair, was seen acting with all the best actors of her day.
It's funny she didn't like to dance as a kid but it paid off and brought her to shine
with the stars.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your scent kept me awake last night
Strong willed I watched you soar
Into the deep blue horizon
Of a mid day sky

To love an Eagle is risquee
An Eagles' love is madness
No sight unseen from its' clear eyes and
Masculine precision.

I watched you from a limb, of an apple blossom tree
Pink and white and floral I hid, but you saw me.
You lunged, your wings spread eight feet wide
To land here on the limb of
My pretty floral cloud, fluffy pink and slim

And I fell on the ground, because of all the weight
I kept falling, when I watched you climbing, so far out .
I seemed to keep on falling, every time you were around
The cutting edge of your sword like claws
Always made me frown.

But you were kind in your approach.
You found me where I lay
You urged me to get off the ground
To fly for food that day

You nourished me like a small child
In the nest you built, and now
In your old age, here I stand,
Stead fast

Your scent kept me awake each night
Strong willed, I watched you soar
But in the end , we're all the same
Needy, in our time

Today you're strong and powerful and
Tomorrow, here you are
One of natures' tricks my friend
So sad .....but there you are.

A Lady's Life

--------------------------------------------

SHAVE & HAIRCUT

An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut, but he tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.

The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

When he's finished, the old man tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he's had in years.

But he wanted to know what would have happened if he had swallowed that little ball.

The barber replied, "Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does".

Enjoy your day!

Eh! My Lifes' Friend.

Sophia Lauren was one of the best actresses of her time.
She could play and probably still can play, any role you may throw at her.
She fitted every class of person in the world, begger, thief, Goddess, gypsy, dancer, Mother, lover , friend. ......
What ever she took part in, you knew she would be the best at. Life oozed from her lips and heart and the camera was there to capture it all and put it on screen.
Too bad she doesn't act any more.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eh ! I called you
Eh ! What is your name
Eh ! I can't forget you
Eh ! Come out and play

The music , it keeps playing
The songs, they fill the air.
And Love..... my friend is oozing
Between heaven and the land.

Eh! You know the meaning
Of friendship when it lasts
Eh ! It's love that's whispering
To your heart alone.

Eh! My friend ! Come out now.
Stop hiding behind veils
Be proud of who your are now.
Know love is not in vain.

Eh! I know you hear me
As I yell for God to hear.
Eh! I'm here to love you
Till the very end.

A Lady's Life.
---------------------------------------------
FINGERNAILS
One day Lena confided to her friend Hilda that she had finally cured her nervous husband, Ole, of his habit of biting his nails.
"Good gracious," said Hilda, "How did yew ever dew that?"
"It vas really simple," was Lena's reply. "I yust hid his false teeth."
---------------------------------------------
THE RELATIONS
Ole and Lena were getting on in years. Ole was 92 and Lena was 89. One evening they were sitting on the porch in their rockers and Ole reached over and patted Lena on her knee. "Lena, vat ever happened tew our sex relations?" He asked.
"Vell, Ole, I yust don't know," replied Lena... I don't tink ve even got a card from dem last Christmas."
---------------------------------------------
THE BIRTHDAY GIFT
Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it.
"Oh," said Ole, "I persvaded her to svitch to a clarinet."
"How come?" asked Lars.
"Vell," Ole answered, "because vith a clarinet, she can't sing.
---------------------------------------------
THE PRANK CALL
The phone rings in the middle of the night when Ole and Lena are in bed and Ole answers. "Vell how da hell should I know, dats two tousand miles from here" he says and hangs up.
"Who vas dat?" asks Lena.
"I donno, some damn fool wanting to know if da coast was clear".
----------------------------------------------

NORWEGIANS VS IRISHMEN ON THE JOB
There was a Midwestern phone company that was going to hire one team of telephone pole installers, and the boss had to choose between a team of two Norwegian guys and a team of two Irish guys. So the boss met with both teams and said: "Here's what we'll do. Each team will be installing poles out on the new road for a day. The team that installs the most phone poles gets the job."
Both teams headed right out. At end of the shift, Pat and Mike, the Irish guys, came back and the boss asked them how many they had installed.
They said that it was tough going, but they'd put in twelve.


Forty-five minutes later, Ole and Sven,the Norwegian guys came back in and they were totally exhausted. The boss asked, "Well, how many poles did you guys install?"
Ole, the team leader wiped his brow and sighed, "Sven and me, we got three in."
The boss gasped, "Three? Those two Irish guys put in twelve!"
" Yeah," said Ole, "but you should see how much they left stickin'out of the ground!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eh! Hope you have a great day!!

Perhaps I'll Win Again

Doris Day sang this song and I never heard it before but I liked it.
In fact I like most of what they did in those days.
Women were true women unafraid to show it
The beauty and power of a woman should never be underestimated.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quick witted, I knew the score with you
You never laid your true hand out, for the show
You only showed, what you wanted them to see
You played the game, I knew you'd play with me.

I laid my cards out, without a thought of fear.
I showed my innards, to the man I loved.
Quick witted, I knew the score with you
You were entrapped and too dumb to know

And once the snare was set,
You kept on playing , thinking I'd relent
You were there to win a game
That was not there, to win

You only showed, what you wanted me to see
You played a game but it was not to be
The snare was set, before it all began
You were lost, before you played your hand.

The game, was not a game of chance
I was the winner, when I caught your glance
So discreet and yet, it was there for me to see
The true hand, you would play with me.

And so, I led you on so cool and mentally sound
I led you , to the final hunting ground
And you were fine until you were ensnared
For the true hunter, to let you loose and free .

But once composure, settled in your heart
You ventured forth, without your deck of cards,
Became the true lad, you were meant to be
The true man, for a girl like me.

The true line, I was there to hear
I love you,
Would not be written in the sand.
No wave would wash away this love.
No hidden calling Loon , to distract your heart.

Perhaps today, I'll rescue you, from your dire self
Perhaps today, is the last game you'll play
Perhaps today, you'll play your hand too well.
Perhaps today, at last, you'll take your players' hand
Perhaps today I'll lose, to win your heart
I won it once, I'll win it again.

A Lady's Life


In the end, it looks like it's the girl getting cold feet lol
---------------------------------------------------------

OLE LENA'S HONEYMOON
Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee.
Giggling, Lena said, "Ole, you can go farther than that if you vant to." So... Ole drove to Duluth.
--------------------------------------------------------
OUTHOUSE PROBLEMS
When Ole accidentally lost 50 cents in the outhouse, he immediately threw in his watch and billfold. He explained, "I'm not going down dere yust for 50 cents."
-------------------------------------------------------------
SWIM COMPETITION
A Swedish woman competed with a French woman and an English woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition.
The French woman came in first, the Englishwoman second. The Swede reached shore completely exhausted.
After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked, "I don't vant to complain, but I tink dose other two girls used der arms."
--------------------------------------------------------------

VE COULDN'T AFFORD MORE
Two Norwegians from Minnesota went fishing in Canada and returned with only one fish. "The way I figger it, dat fish cost us $400" said the first Norwegian.
"Vell," said the other one, "At dat price it's a good ting ve didn't catch any more."
-----------------------------------------------------------------
BAR RIDDLE
A Swede took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota. While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool spoke to him in a friendly manner.
"Look," he said, "let's have a game if you answer it, I'll buy YOU a drink, if you can't, then you buy ME one, Okay?"
"Ya, dat sounds purty good," said the Swede.
The Indian said, "My father and mother had one child. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?"
The Swede scratched his head and finally said, "I give up. Who vas it?"
"It was ME," chortled the Indian.
So the Swede paid for the drinks.

... Back in Sioux Falls the Swede went into a bar and spotted one of his cronies, "Sven," he said, "I got a game. If you can answer a qvestion, I buy you a drink. If you can't, YOU have to buy ME vun. Fairenough?"
"Fair enough," said Sven.
Okay . . my fadder and mudder had vun child. It vasn't my brudder, It vasn't my sister, Who vas it?"
"Search me," said Sven. "I give up. Who vas it?"
--- "It vas some Indian up in Fargo, Nort Dakoda."


Have a good one :)

What is Life?

"Art destroys silence."

"When a man is in despair, it means that he still believes in something."

Dimitrii Shostakovich


What is life if not senses of everything you see touch and feel.
And here you are my love
In every leaf, in every floating spore, in every tiny molecule of soft drizzle
covering the forest floor.

You are my love, in every horses breath as it stands snorting
muscles rippling after racing in the wind.
You are my love, in every puppy's kiss
and in every stock of yellow straw.
You are love's grace found in every flower,
In every bee that suckles the nectar from its' soul.

You are my love in every morning sun ray
in every blade of grass and dew between my toes
You are my love in every lightning and snow storm
You walk the plains with all emotions raw.

I take delight to feel you burst the bubbles.
to blend the morning sun light with the midnights' moon
You are my ever shining star so high
Above the highest mountain
You are my love, my life, my treasure
The beginning and ending of my soul.

A Lady's Life.

Remember to Breathe

This was so refreshing to watch

------------------------------------------------------------
mitch phoned his heart surgeon to schedule an appointment for an immediate surgery.”I’m sorry,” the receptionist answered, “we don’t have anything available for the next three weeks.”"But I could die by then!”"No problem, just call before to cancel the appointment.”

Read more: http://www.funniestcleanjokes.com/joke/heart-surgery-joke#ixzz1nR31NEBP


Have a good one.:)