Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Women Lovem or Hatem

UCLA Study

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For instance, if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she is more prone to be
attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and a bat jammed
up his ass while he is on fire.

Further studies are expected.

New Medications for Women

St. Mon's Wort
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

E m p t y N e s t r o g e n
Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

P e p t o b i m b o
Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.

D u m e r o l
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q., causing enjoyment of country western music.

F l i p i t o r
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

A n t i b o y o t i c s
When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.

M e n i c i l l i n
Potent anti boyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"

B u y a g r a
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.

J a c k A s s p i r i n
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your anniversary or phone number.

A n t i-t a l k s i d e n t
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.

And the best:

D a m i t o l
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.


Anonymous said...

LOL...ya gotta love 'em. it :)

Nessa said...

I want some of each, especially the last one.

Nessa said...

Oh, by the way, someone left a People magazine in the ladies room here at work and the cover is about Brad and Angie. i thought of you, so i read it and it says they are very happy and not splitting up.

Akelamalu said...

Love the new medications. Now where can I buy them? LOL

Maude Lynn said...

The UCLA study totally cracked me up!

A Lady's Life said...

Nessa ya I read it as well
at the store waiting to unload my Wasn't too impressed.It's entertainment.They say one thing and do another.
The lifestyle does not promote happiness. The happy ones leave the lime light and focus on their families and then come back when kids are grown up if they still want to act.
I watched the Great Gatsby yesterday with Robert Redford. I real classic.
Loved it.

Poking fun at people is fun Sometimes you have to laugh lol
Thanks guys. :)

Gattina said...

Hahaha ! that's a real good drugstore !

Trotter said...

Hi Lady's! Fully agree with Gattina. Do they franchise? ;))

The Republic of Uzupis. Never heard? Blogtrotter has it for you… ;) Enjoy and have a great weekend!

George said...

Thanks for the chuckle. I am a little concerned about the UCLA study, however.

SandyCarlson said...

Oh, that is funny!

A Lady's Life said...

I like the buyagra
I dislike shopping so I could use some myself hahahahaha.