Thursday, February 5, 2015

Sal Mon Tales


































I guess it's not normal to flare our nostrils lol -
Only 30% of us can flare our nostrils. -
21% of us don't make our bed daily. 5% of us never do. -
 Men do 29% of laundry each week.
Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly. -
 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man. -
3 out of 4 of us store our dollar bills in rigid order with singles leading up to higher denominations. - 91% lie regularly, so you can just throw away statistics like these based on their answers *grin* - 27% admit to cheating on a test or quiz. -
29% admit they've intentionally stolen something from a store. -
 50% admit they regularly sneak food into movie theaters to avoid the high prices of snack foods. - 90% believe in divine retribution (but apparently not for lying) -
10% believe in the 10 Commandments. -
82% believe in an afterlife. -
45% believe in ghosts. -
13% (mostly men) have spent a night in jail. -
29% are virgins when they marry. -
58.4% have called into work sick when we weren't. -
10% of us switch tags in the store to pay less for an item. -
Over 50% believe in spanking - but only a child over 2 years old. -
 35% give to charity at least once a month. - How far would you go for $10 million?
25% would abandon their friends, family, and church.
7% would murder. -
 69% eat the cake before the frosting. - When nobody else is around,
47% drink straight from the carton. -
 22% of us skip lunch daily. - 9% of us skip breakfast daily. -
14% of us eat the watermelon seeds. -
Only 13% brush our teeth from side to side. -
45% use mouthwash every day. -
 22% leave the glob of toothpaste in the sink. -
The typical shower is 101 degrees F. - Nearly 1/3 of U.S. women color their hair. - 9% of women and 8% of men have had cosmetic surgery. -
53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on. -
 58% of women paint their nails regularly. -
 33% of women lie about their weight. - 10% claim to have seen a ghost. -
57% have had deja vu. -
49% believe in ESP. - 4 out of 5 of us have suffered from hemorrhoids. -
 44% have broken a bone. -
 14% have attended a self-help meeting. -
15% regularly go to a shrink. -
78% would rather die quickly than live in a retirement home. -
 46.5% of men say they ALWAYS put the seat down after they've used the toilet, yet women claim to ALWAYS find it up. What's up? -
30% of us refuse to sit on a public toilet seat. -
54.2% of us always wash our hands after using the toilet. -
28.1% pee in the pool. Think about that next time you go swimming! -
39% of us peek in our host's bathroom cabinet.
17% have been caught by the host... whoops, "uh.. just looking for the uh..." -
81.3% would tell an acquaintance to zip it (his pants). -
71.6% of us eavesdrop. - 22% are functionally illiterate.
 [Reminds me of the lady who said, "My son ain't illiterate. We was married two weeks before he was born!"] - Less than 10% are trilingual. -
37% claim to know how to use all the features on their VCR. -
53% prefer ATM machines over tellers. -
56% of women do the bills in a marriage. - 2 out of 3 of us wouldn't give up our spouse even for a night for a million bucks. Now, make it TWO million and half the night... : ) -
20% of us have played in a band at one time in our life. -
40% of us have had music lessons. -
 66% of women and 59% of men have used a mix to cook and taken credit for doing it from scratch. - 53% read their horoscopes regularly. -
16% of us have forgotten our own wedding anniversary, mostly men, (and they say statistics don't lie. See 91% Americans lie regularly for details. Yeah, we know the rest of you men just have wives who TELL you the anniversary is coming up!) -
59% of us say we're average-looking. - Blacks are more than twice as likely to call themselves beautiful. -
90% of us depend on alarm clocks to wake us. -
53% of us would take advice from Anne Landers. -
28% of us have skinny-dipped.
14% with the opposite sex. -
51% of adults dress up for a Halloween festivity. - On average, we send 38 Christmas cards every year. -
20% of women consider their parents to be their best friends. - 2 out of 5 have married their first love. - The biggest cause of matrimonial fighting is money. -
 Only 4% asked the parents' approval for their bride's hand. - 1 in 5 men proposed on his knees. - 6% propose over the phone, [but that includes only of those who were accepted over the phone, not those who were hung up on] -
71% can drive a stick-shift car. -
45% of us consistantly follow the speed limit. [Must be the over 55 crowd : ) ] - 2/3 of us speed up at a yellow light. -
1/3 of us don't wear seat belts. -
12% of men never use their car blinkers. -
44% of men tailgate to speed up the person in front of them. -
25% drive after they've been drinking. - 4 out of 5 sing in the car. - 1 in 3 have had an extramarital affair. -
62% think there is nothing wrong with affairs

 http://www.jokesandhumor.com/jokes/286.html

2 comments:

Gattina said...

I don't care who makes his bed or not, statistics are never true !

A Lady's Life said...

Hunh?
These are jokes Gattina.