Showing posts with label life. etiquette. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. etiquette. Show all posts

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Etiquette ...Oh Dear.

Now I know in todays fast paced world, there is little room for social graces.

I mean we do not drink tea with our little finger pointed up, nor dress for dinner.

Nor do we make sure that the fork and spoon and glasses are placed just so on the table.

And we don’t even eat at the table anymore and talk like civilized people.

Nope. We let the TV do all the talking. There is not much time for family time anymore

But some things dealing with Etiquette, are best to be heeded.

Examples………

PERSONAL HYGIENE
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys
2. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the tastes of finger foods.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table...no matter how good his manners are.

THEATER ETIQUETTE
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

WEDDINGS
1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles - even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back a coffee.
5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

TIPS FOR ALL OCCASIONS
1. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
2. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
3. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.

Monday, June 1, 2009

If Our Planet had only 100 People on it....


(Archives July 31st 1997 , newspaper clipping I found. )

If we could shrink the earth’s population to a village of 100 people,

with all the existing ratios, remaining the same,

it would look like this.:

There would be 57 Asians

21 Europeans

14 from the Western Hemisphere

8 Africans

51 would be female

49 male

70 would be non white

70 would be non Christian

Half the wealth would be in the hands of only 6 people and

All 6 would be citizens of the USA

80 would live in substandard housing

70 would be unable to read

50 would suffer malnutrition

Only one would have a college education and

no one would own a computer.

Interesting. :)