What If?

What if eh? lol
Some things never change and Italian humor is one of them.
Its always funny.

:)

Viva Italia!!

Hope you can see it and Enjoy! :)

Twin Melody

This is funny by Victor Borge
We wonder why can't we have things like this anymore.
Well...now we can. Enjoy!

:)

Reflections

Hi Pretty flower.
I looked and looked at you in my room and thought you were modern art of some sort.
It is only now, looking at the photo I took of you, that I finally see
you are a flower seemingly full of the nectar of life.
What a great shot someone took.


Here's to Wonderful Husbands


When I got home after a day of ice fishing yesterday,
my wife hadn't arrived from work yet.

To make her happy, I put in her favourite cd in
the sound system, and then I ran some hot water and added some bubbles.

When she got home, everything was ready for her to do the dishes.....

Am I a thoughtful husband or what!!
:)

Like a Rock

One can't get over the power and magnificence of horses as seen in this statue.
The old masters had a good eye to display the meaning these loyal steeds had to men of war.

Loyal brave gallant honorable.
They gave up their lives for men, not so gallant, brave loyal and honorable.

Little twists life plays on both man and beast.
But to sit and look at it, is breath taking.
:)
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Frozen Crabs & the Blonde Stewardess

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans , with a box of frozen crabs, and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him.

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.

He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.

Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans , please raise your hand?"

Not one hand went up ... so she took them home and ate them.

Two lessons here:

1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.

2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folk think.

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Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's

Thursday!' Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'

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A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four

thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,'
answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty.'
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:)

Gotta Love Em. lol

A Blond Bombshall buys the new Automatic BMW X8 sport.
She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night the car just won’t move at all.

She tries driving the car at night for a week but still no luck.

She then furiously calls the BMW dealers and they send out a technician to her.

The technician asks “ Miss, are you sure you are using the right gears?”

Full of anger she replies “You fool, idiot man, how you could ask such a question, I'm not stupid!

I use 'D' for the Day and 'N' for the Night...”

Old Pike

Pike is a fun fish to catch. It puts up a nice fight and sometimes it sits very still to make you think you lost it. But once you lift it up out of the water it is a display of shear beauty.

My Dad would cut the skin around the gills and skin it with pliers.
My Mom would then debone the meat and put it through the grinder.
Of course the entrails were disposed of.
(She learned from her turkey experience. lol)
I am not sure if she added any bread crumbs or eggs but eventually she got what we'd call great minced meat which she re stuffed the fish with . She sewed the head back on and put it on its' stomach to bake.
Once the fish finished baking she took out this amazing curved fish with jagged teeth still looking as if it was ready for a good fight. It made such a beautiful addition to the table when she served it.
We always loved to watch the look on our guests faces when we would ask them if they would like some fish.
First they would all think : Oh God! This will have many bones, which usually it does. lol
But my Mom would cut it in slices and serve it like a meat loaf and they couldn't believe what they saw.
Immediately they would ask what kind of fish this was and this is when my Parents began with the tall tales of this special fish that had no bones, they catch in the river.

Every one was interested to catch a fish like that once they were through with them. lol
No one would know anymore what kind of fish it was.
lol

Yes Pike were such good fish. Sometimes my Mom would jelly it and sometimes she would marinate it in vinegar and pickling spices. It was delicious no matter how you made it.
She never gave away her recipes.
Today I don't know if we can eat pike from the river but it almost makes you want to have a pool to raise this fish. Pike and trout are my two favorite kinds of fish. Of course we ate a lot of perch as well.
They are pretty good too.

When I was in Miami we usually saw barracuda swimming between our feet. They also have
spots on them like Pike do, so I never thought much about it thinking they were ocean Pike.
Needless to say, I was surprised to find, the huge monstrousities, lying at the bottom of 4 feet of water, were indeed Barracuda which attack for no reason.
They never touched any of us and we swam with them all the time.
Apparently they don't like the taste of white people, so they never bite them lol

I don't know if this is a compliment or an insult but I
if it's an insult, I'll take it as a compliment lol

In British Columbia they have so many fishing laws and restrictions, so we would go to the fish farms to fish. There was one in Abbotsford we loved going to. The man would obtain little fish fries, about 10,000 of them. He would raise them in one tank and as they grew he would change tanks, actually cement pools, until they were ready to dump into this pond he had.
He had lots of fish in there.
At feeding time he would come out and say: Watch this.
He would whistle and a ton of trout would rush to the top of the pond and some would jump out out of the water to the delight of the kids.
They were huge, fat and juicy. Some were reddish in color, ready for mating.
We would be so surprised the fish knew him and even saw him coming without whistling.
Surprising how well fish see in water.
He would then throw them grain and they would go into a frenzy trying to eat up.

It was fun for us to fish there because we required no license and we would catch fish fairly quickly. We would pay him and take our fish home. It was a nice way to spend an afternoon with the kids.
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Middle East Airlines introduced a special package for Lebanese Businessmen... "Buy your ticket and get your wife's ticket free!"

After reaching a considerable number of free issued tickets, MEA realized that the program was a great success, so the company sent letters to all the wives asking them ... How the trip had been for them..

All gave the same reply..."WHAT TRIP ??
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Have a good one !
:)

Husbands, Gotta Luv Em

A B C

A wife asked her husband to describe her.
He said "You're A B C D E F G H I J K." She said "What's that mean?"
He said "Adorable Beautiful Cute Delightful Elegant Foxy Gorgeous Hot."
She said "Ooohh that's so lovely - but what about I J K?"

"I'm. Just. Kidding."

Natures Calling.

click to enlarge

Kids. Do they think to take their shoes OFF?
They know when to FOLLOW ORDERS to a T.
lol
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I love these snuff bottles. It takes so much patience to be able to paint a small bottle from the inside and this is something I never tried.

This bottle had fendi hermes chanel on it and chanel 5 may be old fashioned but it is to me, the best perfume ever . It fits my body chemistry and I could smell it all day.
Thanks to Hillary I finally found out which flower they use to make it. Ylang Ylang.
I have never heard of such a flower and now would really love to smell one.
Can you imagine a garden full of this luxurious smell emitting naturally in your neighborhood?

So I looked it up and it is a pretty yellow flower found in Australia.

and they do make hand lotion from it as well.

I will be looking for it now just to find out what it smells like.

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An Amazing bird video Murmuration

Have a great day!

Poochy Garment

Poochy here is very happy in her new body suit.

She loves wearing this stuff in winter.

The first time I put it on I thought she would try to take it off but

to my surprise she enjoys wearing it.

It took hardly no time at all to make.

Well worth it for a Christmas stocking .

:)
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A 60 year old woman went to apply for a job as a juicer at a fruit store.

The manager thought she seemed too old for the job .

“Do you even have any actual experience picking lemons ?” he asked.

“Well, I think I do.” she replied. “I’ve been divorced 5 times!”

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Working for the state police, you hear lots of funny speeding excuses. One day, while shooting my radar gun I caught an 85 year old lady doing 78 in a 55 mph zone. After I pulled her over I stepped up to her window and asked her, “Any reason you were speeding today?” She turns to me and replies, “Sure officer, I didn’t want to forget where I was going!”

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When I bought my new car, I called my insurance broker to fill out a new application. He asked me if I have any traffic accidents on my record? I replied,” no, except someone once hit me!” So he snaps, “well that’s a accident!” I snap back, “no, the guy did it on purpose!!!”

Have a great Day!

I Rest My Case

This was too good to pass up and have a little fun with.

but since I am into actors today, I have to give Rusell Crowe kudoos for expressing his views on circumcision.

Now here's a man of men for you!!

I tend to agree because the reasons for doing this is not in my opinion reasonable.

For the most part, nature knows what it's doing.

As a man grows so does the skin and one never knows in life if this little piece of skin, will ever be needed in case of an accident or burn victim or something else.

In Africa they also have a ritual to circumcise women.

Just as painful with even worse after effects.

There is nothing civil about making a decision for a child, the child most certainly would not make for itself voluntarily.

It's brutal and yet?????

Many see this as acceptable.

Crap!
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Now this can't get any better for Nissan trucks.

Have a great day!

pizza -----oh amore

Sunday dinner at Nonna's

The table was set with everyday dishes. It doesn't matter if they don't match. They're clean; what more do you want?

All the utensils go on the right side of the plate and the napkin goes on the left.

A clean kitchen towel was put at Nonna's & Papa's plates because they won't use napkins.

Homemade wine and bottles of 7-UP are on the table.

First course, Antipasto... Change plates.

Second course, macaroni. All pasta was called macaroni... Change plates.

Third course, roast beef, potatoes and vegetables... Change plates.

THEN, and only then - NEVER AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MEAL would you eat the salad drenched in homemade oil & vinegar dressing... Change plates.

Next course, fruit & nuts - in the shell - on paper plates because you ran out of the real ones.

Last was coffee with anisette espresso for Nonna, 'American' coffee for the rest - with hard cookies (biscotti) to dunk in the coffee.

The kids would go out to play.

The men would go lay down. They slept so soundly that you could do brain surgery on them without anesthesia.

The women cleaned the kitchen.

We got screamed at by Mom or Nonna, and half of the sentences were English, the other half Italian.
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Ate All the Candy