Showing posts with label marriage jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage jokes. Show all posts

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Turning Points

now lets not have a scene in front of company

------------------------------------------------

A woman was in bed with her lover
when she heard her husband
opening the front door.

'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'

She rubbed baby oil all over him,
then dusted him with talcum powder.

'Don't move until I tell you,'
she said. 'Pretend you're a statue.'

'What's this?' the husband inquired
as he entered the room.

'Oh it's a statue,' she replied.
'The Smiths bought one and I liked it
so I got one for us, too.'

No more was said,
not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up,
went to the kitchen and returned
with a sandwich and a beer.

'Here,' he said to the statue, 'have this.
I stood like that for two days at the Smiths
and nobody offered me a damned thing.'

Monday, February 28, 2011

Orchid of Life



My time is your time
And your time is mine
Your love is my love
And my love is thine
We walk through life together
It was no plan

It was pre planned forever
before our time

My time is your time
And your time is mine
Our song we sing together
Before our time

Hold on, for the big ride
We'll make the finish line

Because my time is your time
And your love is mine.

A Lady's Life







a day of glass you tube.


Frank came into his wife's room one day. "If I were disfigured, would you still love me?" he asked her.

"Darling, I'll always love you," she said calmly, filing her nails.

"How about if I became crippled and couldn't hug you any more?" he asked nervously.

"Don't worry, darling, I'll always love you," she told him, buffing her nails.

"Well, how about if I lost my job as vice president?" Frank went on, "If I wasn't pulling in six figures any more, would you still love me then?"

The woman looked over at her husband's worried face. "Frank, I'll always love you," she reassured him, "but most of all, I'll really miss you."

lol


Be good to yourself today

Monday, April 19, 2010

The Blue Hanky




Inside a pale blue hanky
lay our vows of love
Picked on a hillside
Two Blue Heart mountain flowers
Your face was flushed and joyful
I knew you were the one
The one who would love me
Forever in the sun

I stole the pale blue hanky and made you search in vain
And you came home unhappy
And cried that it was gone.

Inside a pale blue hanky
Lay our vows of love
Picked on a hillside
Two Blue Heart mountain flowers
I stole the pale blue hanky
and brought it home that day
To add to it a diamond ring
Engraved with your own name

My love is like this diamond
Emitting radiant light
So you can find me in the darkness
Of the blackest night
The vows of love are given
For people to know joy
The Blue Heart Mountain flowers
Are two hearts on a hillside.
:)ALADY'SLIFE

Ralph Waldo Emerson
A man is a little thing when he works by and for himself; but when he gives voice to the rules of love and justice, he is godlike.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

COLORFUL BRIDE AND GROOM

 
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18 + Joke

A young man was planning to get married and asked his
doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin
The doctor said, 'Well, you need three things. A
can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a shovel..'
The man was astonished and asked, 'So what do I do
with these?'The doctor replied, 'Before the wedding
night, you paint your one ball red and the other ball
blue. If she says, 'That's the strangest pair of balls
I ever saw', you hit her over the head with the shovel.'
---------------------------------------------
This is naughty but I had to laugh. I asked my husband how would this work if a woman did this to a man to find out if he was a virgin?
Would he say I never had a woman as kinky as you? lol


Honey Honey Abba