. It's Joke Sting Day

Sent by dear friend.

Short, Sweet & True!!!

I dialled a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the
Beep. If I do not return your call,
You are one of the changes."
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My wife and I had words,
But I didn't get to use mine.
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Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
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The irony of life is that, by the time
You're old enough to know your way around,
you're not going anywhere.
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God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.

 

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 I was always taught to respect my elders,
But it keeps getting harder to find one.

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A woman asks a man who is traveling with six children, "Are all these kids yours?"
The man replies, "No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints".

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A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles
while taking a bath.
"Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?"
"Not yet," she replied.

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 Had to laugh at the last one.
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Stinging Nettle soup. I never heard of it before . Its full of serotonin.

 http://scandifoodie.blogspot.ca/2010/10/stinging-nettle-soup.html

To make delicious nettle soup, all you need is a bagful of nettle leaves, about the size of a football, for four people. Also:
1 large onion and garlic cloves to taste2 or 3 potatoesolive oil, salt and peppersome stock or a stock cube (chicken or vegetable)cream to taste Firstly prepare the nettles. Wash and drain them. Trim the stems out of the nettles you have picked, leaving just the fresh, young leaves. Go through them carefully separating stalk from fresh leaf and discarding any discoloured or dubious looking leaf. You can do this easily by picking up the nettle tops by the main stalk, compressing the leaf stalks together with your fingers and cutting across the tops with scissors. If you are worried about being stung – wear some gloves.

• Then chop up the potatoes, onion and garlic and sauté them in a 2 litre saucepan with a splash of olive oil and a bit of butter to taste. When the onion starts to soften and the potato is forming a slight crust, drop in the nettles and give them a quick whisk around with a spatula. Then add a litre of boiled water and your stock. Stir it all up and let it bubble for about 12 minutes, or until the potato is soft.
  Put it through a liquidiser once it has cooled, then return to the pan to warm it when you are ready to serve. To serve, pour the soup into a bowl and add some cream. Swirl the cream around with the back of a spoon to make an interesting shape. Add salt and pepper to taste. Roger Phillips suggests serving this soup with butter-made croutons although I prefer it without. It is also nice with a drop of wine.http://www.nettlesoup.org.uk/nettle/nettlesoup.htm

If you come across stinging nettles and the pain is annoying from them, usually dock leaves grow beside them
and if you take one and scrunch it up to get the oils out, putting the wet leaf on the irritation will help it in a matter of minutes.
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http://www.motherearthliving.com/natural-health/stinging-nettle-plant-underappreciated-green-of-the-wild.aspx#axzz2g8pdzyr0

"Medicinally wise, stinging nettle was used for nearly anything from hysteria and gangrene, to things that have translated through time, including anemia and hemorrhoids. Historically, nettle was said to be used to expel worms caused by bad humors, according to Hildegard's Healing Plants (Beacon, 2001). The famous English botanist Nicholas Culpeper said drinking a decoction of leaves and seeds, or fresh juice, of nettle provokes urine and expels gravel, especially of the kidneys. It seems, though, the most noted and famous historical use of Roman nettle (Urtica urens) was used in flogging to increase circulation to inflamed or pained areas, and to also treat ailments such as rheumatism, bleeding wounds, stiffness of joints and failing muscular strength. On the other hand, the Native Americans had been using stinging nettle for ailments including colds, coughs, gout, hair loss, and for pregnant or recently pregnant women to prevent hemorrhaging and encourage milk flow for breast feeding. Lastly, some other notable historical uses of nettle includes bed wetting, impotence, stomach cramps, constipation, scurvy, blood pressure and lymphatic problems; sore throats and nosebleeds.

A stinging nettle in the Ecovillage of Findhorn, Scotland. 

Stinging nettle has the medicinal actions as a diuretic, anti-inflammatory, antihistamine, astringent, hemostatic and galactagogue. It is also very nutritious being high in vitamins A and C, potassium, chlorophyll and calcium. Besides being highly nutritive, it has histamine in its "stingers," hence its very good reputation in treating allergies and other inflammations such as eczema, poison ivy, psoriasis and arthritis. Nettle is also known, even presently, to stimulate circulation. It is often used to treat passive bleeding, which is why it is used in lessening menstrual bleeding, and to treat gallbladder, kidney and adrenal ailments. This herb is also used in building nourishing core energy, as its seeds were used to treat tuberculosis and improve lung function after bronchitis. For menstrual ailments, such as cramps and overly heavy periods, a good tea one can take to improve these symptoms over time is the following iron tea (this tea is very good for menstruation because when women bleed they loose calcium and iron). Take equal parts of yellow dock root, nettle, dry watercress, parsley, dandelion root and dulse; and steep for 30 minutes.ENJOY!"

xoxoxoxoxoo