Don't Mind If I Do

Now I can't see anything better than sitting down and putting your feet up.
Of course not that high up but
just enough to get the blood flowin to where it belongs. lol

The rest is easy enough,
a good fishin book, a nudge of brandy and a hat to keep the sun off outta your eyes.

Life is GOOOD!

The Dog Song

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.

My mother in law started walking
five miles a day when she was 80.
Now she's 81 years old
and we don't know where the hell she is.

I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing..

I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs,
but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years,......
just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour place;
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.

You could run this over to your friends
But just e-mail it to them instead!