Lady's Select Jokes

“Waiter, I am going to order broiled skinless chicken breast, but I want you to make a mistake

And bring me lasagna with garlic bread.”

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Salads Don’t Help you lose weight either.

If you put a crouton on your sundae, instead of a cherry, it counts as a salad.

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One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.

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Loll Happy Eatin!!!

Jokes:

Did you hear about the two little kids in a hospital who were lying next to each other? The first kid leans over and asked, "What are you in here for?"
The second kid said," I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."
The first kid said," You've got nothing to worry about, I had that done to me once. They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a piece of cake!"
The second kid then asked, "What are you in here for?"
The first kid responded, "Well, I'm here for a circumcision."
The second kid said, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"

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A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?"
"Twenty-six," he said.

Maradona Life is Life

Life is = OPUS