Showing posts with label life journey. freedom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life journey. freedom. Show all posts

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Life is Sexually Transmitted



Life is sexually transmitted.



Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.


Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.


Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, may be years.


Some people are like a Slinky - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?


In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.


Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

As someone recently said to me . . .
"Don't worry about old age -- it doesn't last that long".


lol

Have a good one.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

I Had A Dream



I had a dream.
It was full of peace joy and contentment.
I woke refreshed with a clean mind , heart and soul.
I was alive with a great will to live.

What was my dream??

A world free of banks, politicians, dictators, reporters, real estate agents, scientists, lawyers and judges.
A world free of corrupt systems bleeding away peoples' lives.
A world of people who did the right thing just because they understood
what the right thing to do was.

A free world where man could live with dignity honor and who respected and honored
others as we all walked through the spirit of this thing called the journey of life.

A world where cruelty was not in Gods' vocabulary.

Man......what a good and free world it was in my dream.
But alas .
It was just a dream ere dreams are an escape to reality.

It must be what heaven was like before the serpent put greed and corruption
into mens' hearts and minds.

If heaven is just a dream, then may we all dream on.
:)

Joy of Saturday

====================================

Deep In the back woods, a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am
doing." Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.

Whoa there, said the doctor, "Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there's another one coming." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. "Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!" said the doctor.

Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby.

"No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there's yet another one coming!" cried the doctor.

The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, "You reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?


==================================================

Hearing a scream from the playroom, the mother rushed in and found her infant son pulling the hair of his four-year-old sister. After separating them, the mother said to her daughter, "Don't be upset with your brother, honey. He didn't know he was hurting you." No sooner had the mother returned to he chores than she heard more screaming. This time she rushed in and found the baby crying. "Now what happened?" she asked. "Nothing," said the girl, "except that now he knows."

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A young Redneck woman brought her child into Children's Hospital for a routine check-up. On the records, the nurse saw that the child's first name was Urine. Not wanting to be rude, but wanting to know why this woman would name her child this, the nurse asked her how Urine got her name. The woman explained, "Well, my baby was born premature and had to stay in the special nursery. She was real sick and they didn't know if she would make it. I couldn't decide what to name her, but the nurses said they would pray for her."

One day I came in and the nurses had already named her. There was this paper on her incubator that said "Please save Urine", so I knew that they had named my baby."



Ok . I know. lol