Thursday, May 17, 2012

 
A Man Goes To See The Rabbi. "Rabbi, Something
Terrible Is Happening And I Have To Talk To You About It."
The Rabbi Asked, "What's Wrong?"
The Man Replied, "My Wife Is Poisoning Me."
The Rabbi, Very Surprised By This, Asks, "How Can That Be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me,
what I should do?"
The Rabbi Then Offers, "Tell You What. Let Me Talk to Her,
I'll See What I Can Find out and I'll Let You Know."
The Rabbi Calls after a while And Says, "Well, I Spoke To Her For
Three Hours. You Want My Advice?"
The Man Said "Yes."
The Rabbi Replied, "Take the poison."
                  **************

Difference Between Complete & Finish...
People say there is no difference between
COMPLETE & FINISH. But there is... When you
marry the right one, you are COMPLETE.... And
when you marry the wrong one, you are
FINISHED..... And when the right one catches you
with the wrong one, you are ... COMPLETELY FINISHED!
                  **************
 
Romantic...SMS She sends the following message:
My love if you're sleeping, send me your dreams
If you're smiling, send me your smile
If you're crying, send me your tears
I love you
He Replied: I'm in the toilet. What do I send?
                  **************
 
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said,
"When we were first married, I would come home
from the office, my wife would bring my slippers
and our cute little dog would run around barking.
Now after ten years it's all different, I come home,
the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking."
"Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still getting the same service!   
                    **************

 
There are 3 kinds of men in the world:
Some remain single & make wonders happen,
Some have girlfriends & see wonders happen,
The rest get married & wonder what happened!?
                  <><><><><><><><><><>

lol

xoxoxoxoxoxo

14 comments:

Diana said...

Very cute! And gorgeous flowers!
Love Di ♥

A Lady's Life said...

Diana I liked the toilet one and the one with the dog bringing the slippers . Comes straight out of life lol

Mama Zen said...

These are hilarious!

A Lady's Life said...

thanks mama zen

BlueShell said...

I can't stop laughing!!!
"I'm in the toilet. What do I send?"
And all the other jokes...great too...and they are easy to translate so...i'm going to "take"all and tell my husband. He's going to have fun, for sure!!!
those flowers are gorgeous: thank you!
Bshell

Gattina said...

Lovely flower bouquet ! love the last quote, very true !

A Lady's Life said...

thanks blue shell and gattina

A Lady's Life said...

Blue shell I also loved the toilet one
I never expected that ending lol

George said...

Thanks for all the smiles. I hope you have a great weekend.

A Lady's Life said...

thanks george you too :)

Diane said...

What a great laugh! Loved the poison and the toilet. Wait, that doesn't sound right . . .

A Lady's Life said...

Thanks Diane :)

SandyCarlson said...

Funny!

A Lady's Life said...

Thanks Sandy :)