Thursday, February 2, 2012

Life is Sexually Transmitted



Life is sexually transmitted.



Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.


Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.


Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, may be years.


Some people are like a Slinky - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?


In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.


Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

As someone recently said to me . . .
"Don't worry about old age -- it doesn't last that long".


lol

Have a good one.

7 comments:

Rob-bear said...

On the other hand, there my be problems with the idea of "teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, may be years."

They may post on your Facebook page or blog about six times a day.

Consider yourself warned!

Mama Zen said...

These are hilarious!

HoneyBUZZin said...

Hahaha...

A Lady's Life said...

rob bear I thought about that lol

A Lady's Life said...

Thanks Mama Zen and honey buzzn

Diane said...

where do you get these? Every one of them is hilarious! I hope you don't mind if I share them???! I promise to mention you . . .

A Lady's Life said...

Thanks guys share away . I just did.