Friday, April 15, 2011

You Can Make the Cut/ I am Enough

This is a very interesting way to sharpen things.
I tried it on my scissors and it worked as well.
Instead of looking for a sharpener, cups are pretty handy around the house.

The Laws of Football

At one point during a football (soccer) match in America, the coach said to one of his young players, 'Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?' The little boy nodded in the affirmative. ' Do you understand that what matters is how we play together as a team?' The little boy nodded yes.

'So, 'the coach continued, 'When offside is given, or a foul is not seen, you don't argue or swear or attack the referee. Do you understand all that?' Again the little boy nodded.

'Good, 'said the coach, 'Now go over there and explain it to your mother.'

The most romantic first line and the most unromantic second line.

On Valentine's day, some entries for a competition to find a couplet with the most romantic first line and most unroman

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life

My love, you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming.


Brene Brown

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

This is a very interesting book. Talks about shame and guilt.
The importance to believe I'm enough.
This is who I am.

Shame leads to drugs, violence, dropping out of school suicide etc....

Guilt leads to the opposite of the above.

It tells you to accept yourself for who you are. Stop trying to fit in.

When you have a sense of belonging, it doesn't require fitting in.

Blame and shame is toxic to love.
ex. Men fear falling off the horse ex losing a job, going bankrupt. unable to provide for the family. Feel unworthy. Feel shame. Don't want to be seen vulnerable unworthy, not being enough for another person.
This applies to parenting and jobs and everything that you are involved with.

Love is not about giving or getting.
Its showing the most vulnerable part of you to be seen and still be nurtured and honored with trust and affection, to be seen as good enough anyway.

Love means to belong to something. Love is cognitively hard wired into you and you require it to belong and if you are refused it then you suffer. Many people suffer because they look to fit in rather than belong.

If you make two lists, one where you list what made you joyful and another list of wants and desires.,
the joyful list which includes gratitude, time you give to loved ones,outdoor activities, etc.. is more important than the guest room that's never used anyway or working 24 hours a day which alienates you from your family.

Authenticity requires courage to be imperfect while trying to be your best selves. You also need boundaries. Choose discomfort over resentment.
Can you teach a class tomorrow? mmm yes
You choose between resentment and discomfort.
You set yourself a boundary.
Will choosing cause resentment or discomfort?

Well, teaching I love, so I will not resent doing it.
It might cause discomfort because I am going out of my way to please someone
or Will take more time to prepare a lecture.

Perfection is a way to protect ourselves to avoid shame blame and imperfection.
Perfection is a Shield we carry not to get hurt.
EX: How do you criticize me as a parent if I am perfect ?

EX: How do you criticize my house when it's perfect?
Stepping away from perfection does not make you a lazy person.
Its letting go of the small things which will make a difference

Difference between shame and guilt:
Shame example I am a mistake
Guilt example I made a mistake

Dr. Brown says everyone has shame and those people who don't, delve into the psychotic

You can't shut down emotion to stop vulnerability
cause then you shut down love, joy, happiness etc.....

It's a lot of great food for thought. I really like this lady.


Gattina said...

I like the laws of football, lol !

A Lady's Life said...

Gattina - lol

George said...

Thanks for the tip about sharpening knives. I'll have to remember that one. Thanks, too, for the laws of football.

A Lady's Life said...

Welcome George lol
I tried the knife sharpening procedure and it works. :)