Showing posts with label easter love life.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label easter love life.. Show all posts

Friday, April 15, 2011

You Can Make the Cut/ I am Enough




This is a very interesting way to sharpen things.
I tried it on my scissors and it worked as well.
Instead of looking for a sharpener, cups are pretty handy around the house.

The Laws of Football

At one point during a football (soccer) match in America, the coach said to one of his young players, 'Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?' The little boy nodded in the affirmative. ' Do you understand that what matters is how we play together as a team?' The little boy nodded yes.

'So, 'the coach continued, 'When offside is given, or a foul is not seen, you don't argue or swear or attack the referee. Do you understand all that?' Again the little boy nodded.

'Good, 'said the coach, 'Now go over there and explain it to your mother.'

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The most romantic first line and the most unromantic second line.

On Valentine's day, some entries for a competition to find a couplet with the most romantic first line and most unroman

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life

My love, you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming.


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Brene Brown

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

This is a very interesting book. Talks about shame and guilt.
The importance to believe I'm enough.
This is who I am.

Shame leads to drugs, violence, dropping out of school suicide etc....

Guilt leads to the opposite of the above.

It tells you to accept yourself for who you are. Stop trying to fit in.

When you have a sense of belonging, it doesn't require fitting in.

Blame and shame is toxic to love.
ex. Men fear falling off the horse ex losing a job, going bankrupt. unable to provide for the family. Feel unworthy. Feel shame. Don't want to be seen vulnerable unworthy, not being enough for another person.
This applies to parenting and jobs and everything that you are involved with.

Love is not about giving or getting.
Its showing the most vulnerable part of you to be seen and still be nurtured and honored with trust and affection, to be seen as good enough anyway.

Love means to belong to something. Love is cognitively hard wired into you and you require it to belong and if you are refused it then you suffer. Many people suffer because they look to fit in rather than belong.

If you make two lists, one where you list what made you joyful and another list of wants and desires.,
the joyful list which includes gratitude, time you give to loved ones,outdoor activities, etc.. is more important than the guest room that's never used anyway or working 24 hours a day which alienates you from your family.

Authenticity requires courage to be imperfect while trying to be your best selves. You also need boundaries. Choose discomfort over resentment.
ex
Can you teach a class tomorrow? mmm yes
You choose between resentment and discomfort.
You set yourself a boundary.
Will choosing cause resentment or discomfort?

Well, teaching I love, so I will not resent doing it.
It might cause discomfort because I am going out of my way to please someone
or Will take more time to prepare a lecture.


Perfection is a way to protect ourselves to avoid shame blame and imperfection.
Perfection is a Shield we carry not to get hurt.
EX: How do you criticize me as a parent if I am perfect ?

EX: How do you criticize my house when it's perfect?
Stepping away from perfection does not make you a lazy person.
Its letting go of the small things which will make a difference

Difference between shame and guilt:
Shame example I am a mistake
Guilt example I made a mistake

Dr. Brown says everyone has shame and those people who don't, delve into the psychotic
arena.

You can't shut down emotion to stop vulnerability
cause then you shut down love, joy, happiness etc.....

It's a lot of great food for thought. I really like this lady.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Those Were The Days and then some



Be sure to refill the ice trays, we're going to have company.
Watch for the postman, I want to get this letter to Willie in the mail today.
Quit slamming the screen door when you go out!
Be sure and pull the windows down when you leave, it looks like a shower is coming up.



Don't forget to wind the clock before you go to bed.
Wash your feet before you go to bed, you've been playing outside all day barefooted.



Why can't you remember to roll up your britches legs? Getting them caught in the bicycle chain so many times is tearing them up.
You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times there is nothing left to put a patch on.



Don't you go outside with your school clothes on.
Go comb your hair, it looks like the rats have nested in it all night.
Be sure and pour the cream off the top of the milk when
You open the new bottle.
Take that empty bottle to the store with you so you won't have to
Pay a deposit on another one.



Put a dish towel over the cake so the flies won't get on it.
Quit jumping on the floor! I have a cake in the oven and you are going to make it fall if you don't quit.
Let me know when the Fuller Brush man comes by, I need to get a few things from him.
You boys stay close by, the car may not start and I will need you to help push it off.



There's a dollar in my purse, get 5 gallons of gas when you go to town.
Open the back door and see if we can get a breeze through here, it is getting hot.



You can walk to the store, it won't hurt you to get some exercise.
Don't sit too close to the TV, It is hard on your eyes.



If you pull that stunt again, I am going to wear you out!
Don't lose that button, I'll sew it back on after a while.



Wash under your neck before you come to the table, you have beads of dirt and sweat all under there.
Get out from under the sewing machine, pumping it messes up the thread.
Be sure and fill the lamps this morning so we don't have to do that tonight in the dark.



Here, take this old magazine to the toilet with you when you go, we are almost out of paper out there.
Go out to the well and draw a bucket of water so I can wash dishes.
Don't turn the radio on now, I want the battery to be up when the Grand Ole Opry comes on.



No, I don't have 10 cents for you to go to the show. Do you think money grows on trees?
Eat those turnips, they'll make you big and strong like your daddy.
That dog is NOT coming in this house! I don't care how cold it is out there, dogs don't stay in the house.



Sit still! I'm trying to get your hair cut straight and you keep moving.
Hush your mouth, I don't want to hear words like that, I'll wash your mouth out with soap!
It is time for your system to be cleaned out. I am going to give you a dose of castor oil tonight.
If you get a spanking in school and I find out about it, you'll get another one when you get home.



Quit crossing your eyes, they will get stuck that way.
Soak your foot in this pan of kerosene so that bad cut won't get infected.
When you take your driving test, don't forget to signal each turn.
Left arm straight out the window for a left turn;
Left arm bent up at the elbow for a right turn;
And straight down to the side of the door when you are going to stop.



It's: 'Yes Ma'am' and 'No Ma'am' to me, young man, and don't you forget it!
Y'all come back now, ya hear.

Bring back any memories? It sure did for me!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

AND THIS MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE

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Growing up in the Province of Quebec was a very special time for me.
I had my own family life.
I had the Protestant School Board which enriched me as a person in so many ways and
I also had the Catholic French Canadian influence which intrigued me.

Our school was very good introducing us to many things like the Anglican Church. Our choir went to sing at a little church next door and other churches down town.
I had the honor of singing solo because I had a nice voice. This was the time I found Liberace and fell in love with him because of his music. I think our music teacher was gay but no one knew about such things then.
He was a very nice man to say the least.

We had a student exchange program whereby 7 kids from our school went to a French School and 7 French kids came to ours.
We had a vacation because all we did was sing songs and go to a French Catholic Church. We learned Catechism had few minutes of math that sort of thing. It was a breeze.
The French kids had our schedule which was math history English etc.. They cried for two weeks and wanted to stop because it was too hard.lol

I had Polish neighbors and played with a little girl who always wanted to be a princess
She would wear her princess get up and play out her fantasy. I always fantasized being an Amazon woman who was befriended by a lion and lived on an Island. Anyone who got stranded on my island I would help but they never saw who was helping them.lol

I had another Polish girl whose family rented and lived in an attic across the street.
I would go up to visit her as she had problems coming down stairs in a wheel chair.
She was so pretty, with long thick curly hair and afflicted with polio.

On the corner of my street a pretty little boy with golden locks, ran around with flippers for arms.
I told my Mom and later I found out I also could have been born this way but My Mom decided not to take the
Anti nausea pills early in her pregnancy.
Taking them resulted in thalidomide babies.

Further down the street was a small bungalow.
You could look down the embankment and see so many cribs and each crib had babies with
heads so huge, they had problems lifting them.
It seems the heads filled up with water and they later died.

We had a colored family a few houses away.
I was friends with the daughter but the older son was stand offish. Once he had a sling shot and shot a stone which whizzed by my eye for no reason. I turned around and chased him and pushed him into a huge puddle. He lost his glasses, got all wet and then had the nerve to go and complain to my Mother. She saw everything and told him nicely that it was not nice to hurt girls lol
His Dad had brain cancer and stayed home quietly waiting to die. The Mom was a nurse.
She was such a pleasant lady, beautiful inside and out. I just loved her.
There are some people who walk and have halos hovering over their heads and this was one such woman.
She had so many problems at home but walked with courage every day to do her job and her duty.
As it is written, some walk in their righteousness and some in their transgressions.

We had Italian neighbors, French neighbors, Ukrainian neighbors and English neighbors. Every one got along.

The Italians were funny. The big kids fought and the Fathers chased them down the street with straps.They were all good kids. My neighbor had 4 boys and a girl. The girl they imported a husband for from Italy and married her off at 15. By 20 she was hunched pregnant old and ready to die.She had 5 children and was told not to have anymore but her husband didn't care. He drove nice cars, dressed well.They had a nice home.
There was going to be a major fight between her family and him.
Thankfully she had her baby and they saved her life but the doctor tied her tubes so she would not have any more. They didn't care about her religion.

Her middle aged brother threw a rock on my head when I was 4 and then wanted to marry me when I was finishing high school. He was a handsome dude but I said no. One hole in my head from him was enough lol

One family had many children and lived on welfare.
All the neighbors brought them their childrens' clothes once they grew out of them, so they did not suffer and food.
One day their house burnt down.

The rumor was the husband took a big insurance policy and then burnt his house down.
The insurance gave them so much money and they built a huge house .
Now this was making something out of nothing, loll

Needless to say the neighbors were not too impressed cause every one had problems but would never stoop so low as to do this sort of thing..
They also felt used and abused.
The mother came to our house and told us no one gave them anything anymore because they were jealous.
But we knew why. It was because peoples generosity was betrayed by her husbands evil ways.
He never lifted a finger anywhere except in bed.lol

Our other next door neighbor was a union between an English woman and a French man.
They were a lovely couple They cried when we moved.I think almost the whole street did.
They owned a boxer. I was a lover of dogs and they entrusted me with their dog so I was given a treat to walk it every day. She had puppies and the man came to my Dad and said "I will sell you a pup cheap because your daughter loves dogs." but my Dad did not believe in spending on animals so he refused. I was very upset. lol

Then their son took the Boxer and brought them a Doberman . I took it out once and the dog looked at me as if to say you don't tell me where to go. I tell you. So I said ok and slowly brought it back home and never took it out again. Next thing you know the Boxer was back and we were all soo happy and back to our old routine,.

In our house we had an old woman living with three sons. She was a real chaste religious French Catholic woman, always dressed in black. She was afraid of everything but a wonderful person.Quiet as a mouse, smart, just, and had very well behaved young sons.

At school we had bullies. No one bullied me to my face because I was a big girl .
I became a defender of the bullied and all they had to do was come to me and every one would back off.
I guess it was the look on my face that did it. Or Maybe my Dad’s teachings to fight back or expect to get
more of the same when I got home because my parents couldn’t afford to replace my ripped stockings every day lol
We learned to stand up for ourselves early in life and not sit feeling sorry for ourselves.

We had one boy who came to school and no one wanted to sit next to him because he stunk. He not only did not take showers but farted all day long.
He always sat alone, red faced and embarrassed.
The teacher would always sit him beside me and although I also thought he was so offensive to me as well, I never let on.
I tried to be friendly to make him feel better but he really did stink.

Then we had a Scottish family. I loved going to their house cause every Christmas. my friends' Dad brought so many Christmas trees.
They filled her yard and we’d go at night to choose one for our house.
What a wonderful night this was and she was grateful for the extra cash it brought her family for Christmas.
Bringing the tree home in the snow was just as wonderful.
We had to drag it or carry it full of snow just like in the Christmas cards. The weather never disappointed us cause pretty snowflakes would fall and the tree smelled so wonderful in the house.
My Dad had to prepare the stand to fit it. It was a whole ordeal to set it up and not just a walk to the store for a regular stand.

Then there was one family we never saw outside but they had a small Chihuahua. Every morning it came out wagging its tail
So you let it come near enough to you and then it would run up and bite you. loll
Some smart little dog. Loll and then of course there was Nipper. He was an old schnauzer mix belonging to an old couple and his name said it all.
No one went near him lol but he made sure to come out onto the street and tell you a thing or two. Loll
He was the 15 year old boss of the street.

Growing up in such a milieu taught me many things about people, religion, and life.
And because of it, I feel today, that there is nothing better than living in a heterogeneous society.
Not only were we all different but we were all the same.
We suffered, we cried, we had good times and bad times, we shared and together we prospered.

I played and prayed and sang and was taught by a song called

“Amitie” in my early years.

And this made all the difference to me and to all the people who lived in my neighborhood.

God loves and cherishes all his people and he brings them together for a purpose.
I know I was blessed in more ways than one growing up in Montreal North.
I am now telling my story and it is a good story to tell. :)