Monday, April 9, 2012

Yachts of Laughs!

Wow! Beautiful yacht owned by a sheikh.
People sure know how to live.
It even has retractable gazebos.

Makes me want to dig for oil at my house. lol

But Alas.........The law will not let me.
So I have to make do with this.

A slightly smaller model but does the job lol

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An old sea captain was sitting on a bench near the wharf when a young man walked up and sat down. The young man had spiked hair and each spike was a different color.... green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.
After a while the young man noticed that the captain was staring at him.

"What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?

The old captain replied, "Got drunk once and married a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son!"

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A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good-looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island.

One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, "Stop making love down there!"

"What's the matter with you?" the husband said when the sailor climbed down. '"We weren't making love."

"Sorry," said the sailor, "From up there it looked like you were."

Every morning thereafter, the sailor scaled the same tree and yelled the same thing. Finally the husband decided to climb the tree and see for himself.

With great difficulty, he made his way to the top.

The husband says to himself, "By golly he's right! It DOES look like they're making love down there!"

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A woman was having a medical problem - her husband was snoring very loudly and every night ! So she called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her "suffering."

"Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband" said the doctor, "but it is really rather expensive. It will cost you $10,000 down, and payments of $1000 for 36 months, plus payments for extras of course.

"My goodness!" the woman exclaimed, "that sounds like I'm buying a yacht!"

"Humm," the doctor murmured, "too obvious, huh?"

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A man fell overboard from his little sailboat, and was thrashing around in the water when another boat pulled up.
"Jump in, we'll save you" - they screamed.
"No" cried the drowning man, "God will save me".
The scene was repeated twice more and then a helicopter hovered over the man.
"We came to rescue you" yelled the pilot.
"No, God will save me" was the response again.
The man drowned, and as he crossed the Pearly Gates, he ran straight to Jesus.
"I placed my faith in You, and You let me drown?!
""Hey!" said Jesus. "I sent three boats and a helicopter".

lol

Have a good one. :)

8 comments:

Gattina said...

Maybe instead of digging in your yard you seduce an old sheik ?

A Lady's Life said...

hahahahaha Yuck Gattina !!!
I have my man and he is mine till he dies and till I die.
Not for any money or yachts .
Thats my husbands job to supply lol
I'm his Sheikha. lol

SandyCarlson said...

Thanks for making me laugh!

George said...

I guess it's good that I don't have oil in my yard, either. Thanks for the smiles.

A Lady's Life said...

George - My yacht would have retractable sails and be round like a ball so the waves couldn't break it in bad weather. It would also have a small gas/solar engine just in case there was no wind.
So I wouldn't need oil.

A Lady's Life said...

Welcome Sandy :)

Rob-bear said...

Boats full of bon mots. Ships full of satire.

Quite funny, actually.

A Lady's Life said...

Rob Bear - I love life and living. Sure love the sea and sails but it has to be a lot more exciting than sitting on a yacht with nothing to do.It has to be a lifestyle with diving and fishing and exploring and busting some waves with sea spray.
This is life when you can taste it, smell it, feel it and especially breath it.
This Sheikhs' yacht is only good to take out in calm waters.It's boring.lol