Thursday, January 12, 2012

Bend Over


Spanking made me remember a lot of things.
First of all, spanking is not beating.
You spank to teach a lesson and so it has to be with forethought and the child has to know he has to bend over to take his punishment. Schools also had this and you had to know if you did bad and they gave you chances to stop but you didn't, you had to wait in front of the Principals' office until he came out with the ruler.

The waiting is worse than the punishment. lol That's why my Dad always made me wait till we got home because the anticipation of a spanking was worse than the spank.

My Dads' Dad never spanked but many times I heard my Dad say I wish he did spank because he'd go on and on and on and on and he'd make him more angry and very nervous.
One day he told him :
Just hit me why don't you and get it over with so I can go? lol Then my Grand father again would begin with the lectures and again he'd sit with his blood pressure rising. But he sat. He respected his Dad and sat. Today kids don't sit.

My Grand mother used to take a towel and twist it and she'd chase my Dad around the table. The towel would untwist and then she would hit his sister with it.
My Dad complained and said : How come you are hitting me with a twisted towel and her with an untwisted one. She would pretend to spit from anger and walk away. My Dad and his sister always remembered their spanks and laughed.

My Husbands' parents would grab an ankle and the kids would scream from fear but then the screams turned into laughter because instead of hitting the bottom of the feet they would hit themselves. The point was made and tears turned into giggles and screams.

I spanked once in a while but very seldom. There is no point to spank if learning doesn't take place.
Sometimes you have to if nothing else works.

As for me, I grew up and took Shotokan Karate. My muscles became hard as rock.
One day my Dad got angry with me and I said to him, do you want to spank me? Here!

I gave him my bum and he gave it a hard wallop but I felt nothing.
He, on the other hand, hurt his hand and I saw him slowly put it down so I would not see.

But he was proud of me. I grew up strong and sure of myself.
I didn't commit suicide over stupid problems, I was never bullied.
I took my knocks. I was also smart to avoid being knocked.
I respected people, didn't swear or take drugs and showed kindness to the old the weak and less fortunate. It is funny, but all our names in my Family mean Defender of men and that's what we are.

Kids learned from pressure. It's not like an adult learning because a kid always had parents to fall back on to give support.

Today we have a whiner society. Every time something happens... Oh,we need to pass a law.
So things get ugly and people get ugly and laws get ugly.
No one wins.

We passed anti spanking laws because some parents were abusing their kids. Abuse is never a good thing to do but that's different from spanking. If you need to give a child a good spank, that's a different story.
A spank is not for your benefit but for the childs'.
Kids went to school to squeal on the parents so the school gets them into trouble as payback for saying no at home. Today the schools ignore these kids because they themselves can't handle them.
Some just can't be handled. So today they drug them. They destroy their brain cells.
But our parents spanked us and we corrected our behavior without drugs.

I much prefer I do it myself, than to have my arrogant kid go out into the street and get shot or beaten or killed by a police man. That would be abuse.
Today the police fear the public and when they shoot, they shoot to kill and they don't care how old you are.
Then the public complains and I say...... it's too late.

ex You want rights to be a prostitute knowing you will be in danger.
Where were the parents to help you change your decision before you ended in a ditch?
Now you are dead and passing laws isn't going to change that.
Killing your killer isn't going to change that.

When your kid was small did you teach him?
Did he accept authority?
Did he take drugs?
Did he go to school or play hooky?
Did he bully ?
How did he handle bullying?
Did he do chores?
Was your child temperamental or easy going?

We all had the same problems growing up as the kids do today but we were tougher kids as a result of being taught respect and accepting authority.

Today they speak of children committing suicide.
I couldn't take the bullying!
They write on face book about me.
They laugh at me at school.

We were taught how to handle such situations. Our minds were working all the time.
We'd sit and wait for an opportunity for the bully to make a mistake and usually he does and then the jokes' on him... and the bully becomes the bullied.

The bully gets his just rewards and this is what a powerful mind does.
A powerful mind is not afraid of a spanking any more than it is afraid of bullying
or anything else. A powerful mind walks through life proud.
A powerful mind, when he falls down, gets up and walks again.

Laws do not fix life problems. You have a life problem, you have to learn to be strong and fix it yourself.
Once you learn to do this, you become an adult.
You become a man.
I have to ask looking at our society today, how many people can call themselves men?

:) Have a Good One
Rudyard Kipling If


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!


Diana said...

Very interesting post! I grew up living in Chicago. I was a little thing but had to learn to be tough. I wasn't afraid of anyone. That was my defense.
I got spankings when necessary as did my children. Not beatings mind you but a good smack on the !&* .
I don't know weather or not it really did any good. My kids are great adults.
I do remember a day when the entire block of adults would discipline everyone's children. Whats that saying? It takes a village?
Things have changed so much. and I don't think we're any better for it. One thing I never cared for was corporal punishment in schools. I didn't want anyone but me spanking my children and that was minimal.
Love Di ♥

Gattina said...

I don't want to become a man, lol ! I am proud to be a woman (and not a weak one, (I tell you ) nobody would ever have dared to bully me ! I agree with Diana, no corporal punishment in schools ! Never, even when I was a kid in the 50, it was not allowed in German schools !

A Lady's Life said...

I agree. I didn't like it either at school. I think no one but a parent should punish their kids but thats just the way it was back then.

To be a man, is just an expression.It's the same as saying to be an adult, grown up in mind as well as body. lol
like the poem by Kipling ...If

Akelamalu said...

There is a huge difference between spanking and beating and abuse. It's unfortunate that there will always be some parents who don't know the difference and go too far. :(

George said...

When I was in grade school teachers were allowed to paddle students, but they had to notify parents what they had done. The worst thing about that was you got another spanking from your parents at home!

Mama Zen said...

That Kipling poem is one of my favorites!

A Lady's Life said...

Akelamalu you are so right. People are not on the same page.

A Lady's Life said...

George I am so glad my school only had a ruler for the hands. I remember once my teacher sent four of us to stand in front of the office We stood a half hour until the principal came out but luckily he didn't do anything. But we sure sweated a lot waiting lol and for what? Talking? lol
Rules are made to be broken and kids usually do so unless its something very bad, .....talking about it is the best way to go.

A Lady's Life said...

Mama Zen I always loved it.
I found it to be a very truthful poem.

A Lady's Life said...

Diana - we live in a very heterogeneous country. What is acceptable in one country is not acceptable in another and some people come here believing North American freedom means the old cowboy days.I know in Singapore you could be put in jail and get lashings for being rude to a policeman. These lashings leave scars. So parents punish their kids at home to make sure they know how to behave and do not get into trouble. Singapore is number one today in science and math because kids are nice polite and serious and we are way below them. Our kids are more into ipods and fun things. They are not into self discipline nor do they respect authority. It is going to cost them big time in their lifetime.
Adults believe they are adults at 21. But as the poem tells, it takes a lot more to earn the title

A Lady's Life said...

What I basically learned with my kids is that they were both angels at home. My husband and I are great parents but once they go to school, its like they entered hell and then they bring all this stuff into the home. Many parents because of this decide to home school but I prefer normal school because they need to learn. These are the same people they will have to deal with after they leave school. So there is no escape.
And this is why I believe one parent has to be at home to make sure they are available to their child when it becomes important to be so.Child rearing is not an easy job.

Diane said...

I remember kids getting 'the strap' in school when I was growing up. My kids got a good smack on the heiny. It got their attention. But that was all. Just one smack. It also taught them respect and responsibility. I think that is where we fail. At teaching kids responsibility. Taking the blame for their own actions. Everything is someone else's fault.

A Lady's Life said...

Diane - growing up my Dad made sure I was responsible for everything lol
This taught me later to fight for my rights.Otherwise I sat and just took it.My boy cousin never got blamed for anything and he was the brat lol
His sister was blamed and she was a good girl.But she would sniff and take it quietly.And then the third child was a rebel She didn't like to be bossed around by her big brother and told him he wasn't her Dad.But he loved her and took an active interest.