Saturday, November 5, 2011

watsa matta fo you?


T H E I T A L I A N G R A N D M O T H E R

An Italian grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.


"You comma to de front door of the apartmenta. I am inna apartmenta 301.


There issa bigga panel at the front door. With you elbow, pusha button 301.

I will buzza you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with you elbow, pusha 3.


When you get out, I'mma on the left. With you elbow, hit my doorbell."


"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?


"What . . . .. .. You coming empty handed?"


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Wise Italian Grandfather

Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.

An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ....38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. "
"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, ‘time's up’ ?


Have a great day!

14 comments:

Akelamalu said...

LOL wise grandmother!

Mama Zen said...

That grandfather joke is hilarious!

Joseph Pulikotil said...

Hello,

Very hilarious post. I enjoyed the lovely humor.

Have a nice day,
Joseph

Better is Possible said...

Sending these to my Italian friends. So funny!

Gattina said...

Hehehe ! the accent sounds like my husband !

A Lady's Life said...

akelamalu - she sure was lol nice way to teach manners lol

A Lady's Life said...

mama zen - typical italian lol

A Lady's Life said...

Thanks Joseph

A Lady's Life said...

better is possible - good to laugh.

A Lady's Life said...

gattina - I have fond memories of the italian friends and their families when I was growing up.

George said...

I love the wisdom of the Italians.

A Lady's Life said...

george - dat's Familia lol

Diane said...

What a great way to start my day. With a great laugh!

A Lady's Life said...

Diane Welcome :)