Monday, November 21, 2011

Foreign Accent Syndrome???



Travelling around, one often asks you where are you from because you have, what sounds to them, a foreign accent.

Crossing the US border is very difficult, if you get a guard who pays attention to how you talk with them, especially if he himself is Korean, East Indian or French etc... heritage
and has an accent himself. lol
Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.
Are we not a multicultural continent?

You answer:
Say wha??
Watcha talkin about bro. Wa's up wid yo accent?
Wa u from, bra?

Seems people brought up, when diction was important, is passe.

So long Shakespeare,

So long RrrAIN IN SsPAIN, IS MmAINLY IN THE PpLAIN.

Sometimes I think people are just a bunch of monkeys in a cage, bred to analyze each other for lack of better things to do.

No one checked me for fleas yet lol
but I understand security does this when boarding airplanes lol

Thanks to the internet, I now know what to tell the border guards and other nosy people who think the way they speak is without an accent.

I GOT the FOREIGN ACCENT SYNDROME DISEASE. lol

One other border story is funny or sad ... depending on whether or not your cup is half full or half empty.

I remember trying to enter through the US border once and they pulled me over for
a random check. Now my van is always packed because of kids, soccer and living in an earthquake zone, I try,( to the chagrin of my son, who calls it lame to do this until God forbid one day we need stuff in an emergency,) to make sure I have survival items in it including tent, chairs,blankets,tarps, rope,
warm jackets, sweaters, pants and socks.
So every time I cross the border, is a pain in the ass.

Asking the kids and husband to unload your car after grocery shopping, is also like pulling teeth cause they always leave something behind and unless it's toilet paper, which they need to wipe their asses with, they will never go back to check for the items if you tell them you are missing something. And even then.......they have to really need it. lol
(Check the car son.lol) (ok I am not being very fair cause lately both hubby and son have been good lol.)

Nevertheless, I check my car over to make sure, one more time, I have no fruit or vegetables.
This time I also checked and wouldn't you know, that guard dug and dug and found a bag of rotten kiwis.
They must have been there for months.

He walked into the building proudly parading them, high above his head, for everyone to see, like a cock who just secured his hen house.lol

If I ever rolled my eyes in my head, I could feel them rolling out of my skull that day.

The only thing that saved me from a 500 dollar fine and/or worse, is that the kiwi bag had Made in USA
written on it. The guy obviously saw I forgot about them, them being so rotten but the law is the law right?

So I learned something that day. Make sure you put your apples kiwis and vegetables in a made in the USA bags and you should be fine. lol

I guess the same would apply to Canada for US citizens???? I am not sure.

I like to keep my car empty to make for a clean in/ out experience but sometimes you screw up.

Kudoos to the guard who let me go that day.:)

but you never know from one experience to another what will happen at the border.
Once they asked me if I had drugs.
Their eye brows raised when, without batting an eye, I said yes. lol

I continued .......I have aspirin ibuprophen tylenol.....

Oh.... now they seemed depressed because it's not what they thought. lol But if I said no and they checked and found them, they could accuse me of not telling the truth.

Another time they asked me if I have knives.
Sure.......doesn't everyone? Scissors too. You need stuff like this. I'm a M.O.M.
It's my personal car used for personal uses.
Why should I keep buying stuff when I have them already?

Or should I say sorry. The A.L.I.E.N. made me do it. lol

Once Canada asked if I had a gun.
GUN??? Are they for real?
A Canadian? A country of Peace? A Mom with a kid in the car?
I felt myself shudder to that question. It rendered me speechless.

NO!
I have Foreign Accent Syndrome Disease.
Isn't that enough ?

But.......don't worry.......you got it too. lol

Have a great day!

6 comments:

Akelamalu said...

I quite like listening to foreign accents, except when I have to phone my bank, service provider etc and I can't understand the person who answers the phone! ;)

Gattina said...

We once had to throw apples away crossing to border from New Mexico to I don't know where anymore, lol !
I certainly have an accent but not a German one, lol !

A Lady's Life said...

Akelamalu - we have accent problems here in BC. People encourage not learning English and French so when you go to a restaurant or somewhere, they don;t speak either working languages. Then on the phone the english is so broken we don't understand anything. But this is not exactly the accent I mean. I mean an accent that is slightly visible they here Like for example the south vs manhatten type of thing.

A Lady's Life said...

Well I find this border stuff between Canada and the US such a waste of time because we are all the same people but I support it for legal/security reasons because it covers such a wide area and we need to know where certain people are.
But to fine people for apples???
I mean, we could be carrying the pests on our own bodies right?
The same applies to pet quarantines.
Coons cross the border all the time The US has rabies, we don't but what's to say tomorrow we won't if one rabid US coon crosses and bites one of ours. Or birds, or deer.and pesty bugs like mosquitoes fly and crawl.There is no way to control this.

Diane said...

I want to follow you across the border. You have all of the . . . fun!

A Lady's Life said...

Diane - once every 6 months is usually the random check time