Saturday, February 20, 2010

Lady's Select Jokes

“Waiter, I am going to order broiled skinless chicken breast, but I want you to make a mistake

And bring me lasagna with garlic bread.”


Salads Don’t Help you lose weight either.

If you put a crouton on your sundae, instead of a cherry, it counts as a salad.


One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.


Loll Happy Eatin!!!


Did you hear about the two little kids in a hospital who were lying next to each other? The first kid leans over and asked, "What are you in here for?"
The second kid said," I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."
The first kid said," You've got nothing to worry about, I had that done to me once. They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a piece of cake!"
The second kid then asked, "What are you in here for?"
The first kid responded, "Well, I'm here for a circumcision."
The second kid said, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"


A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?"
"Twenty-six," he said.

Maradona Life is Life

Life is = OPUS


Anonymous said...

We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull, Some have weird names , and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box . ....................................................

Voegtli said...

Thanks a lot, Lady. Now I know why I could not walk for a year and why I looked old when I was young.

A Lady's Life said...

So true . No matter who you are or where you live or what you believe in, one thing is certain, we share the same blood and the same human species which makes us all equal.

Peter seems you have aged well in spite of the circumcision, smoking and drinking

God Bless you. :)

Akelamalu said...

LOL great jokes, I enjoyed the chuckle. :)

Doctor FTSE said...

I love the old young man story. But what happened to the 126 girl friends he had . . .er . . . er . . . "accomplished" in the variation of the story from my schooldays.

Trotter said...

Hi Lady! Sorry for another long absence, but after a busy start of the year I decided to make a break during the Carnival week, anticipating new hard weeks ahead!!
And the jokes made it perfect for what's coming... ;)

Meanwhile, Blogtrotter 2 is at sea. Hope you enjoy and have a great week!!

Maude Lynn said...

I love the one about the two pound box of candy!