St Peter and Forrest Gump

The day finally arrived.

Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.

He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself.

However, the gates are closed, and

Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you.

We have heard a lot about you.

I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone.

The test is short, but you have to pass it before you

can get into Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It sure is

good to be here, St. Peter,

sir. But, nobody ever told

me about any entrance exam.

I sure hope that the test

ain't too hard. Life was a

big enough test as it was."

St. Peter continued, "Yes, I

know, Forrest, but the test

is only three questions.

(a great big thanks to "coffeetalk" for this one)

First: What two days of the

week begin with the letter T?

Second: How many seconds

are there in a year?

Third: What is God's first name?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions over.

He returns the next day

and sees St. Peter, who

waves him up, and says,

"Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers"

Forrest replied, "Well, the

first one -- which two days

in the week begins with the

letter "T"? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow."

The Saint's eyes opened wide and

he exclaimed,

"Forrest, that is not what I

was thinking, but you do

have a point, and I did not

specify, so I will give you

credit for that answer."

"How about the next one?" asked St. Peter
"How many seconds in a year?

Now that one is harder,"

replied Forrest, but I thunk

and thunk about that, and

I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter said,

"Twelve? Twelve? Forrest,

how in Heaven's name

could you come up with

twelve seconds in a year?"

Forrest replied, "Shucks,

there's got to be twelve:

January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd ... "

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are going with this, and I see your point,

though that was

not quite what I had in

mind ... but I will have to

give you credit for that , too.

Let us go on with the third and final question.

Can you tell me God's first name"?

"Sure," Forrest replied, "it's Andy."

"Andy?" exclaimed an

exasperated and frustrated

St Peter.

"Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions , but

just how in the world did

you come up with the name

Andy as Gods first name?

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song,

'ANDY WALKS WITH ME,

ANDY TALKS WITH ME,

ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.' "

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said:

"Run Forrest, run!"

The Black Hole ----------------------------Funny